In case you were wondering, I always think it’s “my turn.”
I like video games. All sorts.
From a young age I enjoyed the many delights that Nintendo, Sega and eventually PlayStation offered my imaginative soul. I feasted on Mortal Kombat and Super Mario Bros., got my boots wet with some Duck Hunt, and rolled Sonic over every strange world I could speed towards. I delighted in the quirkiness of Rachet & Clank, Spyro, Jack & Daxter, and of course, Crash Bandicoot (hardest fucking game ever, I thought. How naive I was! ) And the classics like Twisted Metal II, CastleVania and Tomb Raider. Occasionally I’d pick up a racing game — SSX Tricky or Jet Moto…and once in a rare moon, I was playing as James Bond in: Everything or Nothing.
Am I dating myself yet?
I played for fun, or until I grew bored, or mostly because I reached level I couldn’t beat, got frustrated and gave up. Such is life.
All that changed when I met Greg, the unequivocal love of my life, who introduced me to a whole other level of gaming. It had been a very long time, years in fact since I’d picked up a controller to embark into a world of digital wonder most fantastical. It was like finding a forgotten part of myself. But these were not silly games with minimal backstories or monotonous storylines. I was suddenly immersed into a genre of gaming that literally affected my life.
I was thrown, tumbled, and tossed into the chaotic battles of Ancient Rome, the politics of the French Revolution, Egyptian & Nordic mythology, aliens and the Knights Templar!? The Assassins Creed Series was a visceral and unforgettable experience. And I was jumping half off the couch and having nightmares when Greg showed me horrific games like BioShock, Silent Hill and… *whimpers in terror* …Bloodborne…Shadow of Mordor… (plz send second breakfast, no hobbitses here)
At first, I was overwhelmed. I thought, what have I gotten myself into? How could I have played videos for a significant amount of my life and not experienced this type of gaming nirvana—it was a true revelation.
But wait, wait, I have to make choices that will change the entire course of the game, possibly the course of history? Hold on, that dude is coming at me with a flaming sword and I have to activate ruins and slay him with magic? This was the burden I was to bear.
At the start of it all, I observed Greg as he played. I would comment and point things out. I was fascinated by the depth of the story-telling—like an interactive movie playing out before my eyes. I was transfixed. I remember the first time he handed me the controller and asked…
“Do you want to try?”
I nodded, carefully, lovingly taking the controller in my grasp and setting out on my first journey…with quite a bit of feigned hubris, might I add.
Within three minutes, I was attacked by a swamp hag, screamed bloody murder and threw the controller across the room.
Greg laughed.
I was hooked, though not ready for the gore, battle and worst of all, the psychological horrors that would plague my mind. So I continued to observe, and little by little I would interject: “I can do this part!” Like riding a horse through glorious countrysides, wheeling and dealing with shady merchants, or romancing the buxom wenches outside the local brothel.
Greg could tell I was enamored so he decided to take my preferences into consideration and do what he does best—research and love me. Suddenly I was inundated with games like Frogwares’ Sherlock Holmes Series, The Wolf Among Us, The Uncharted Series, Life is Strange, and Murdered: Soul Suspect (Spoiler: This one is a little scary- um, maybe because the character you play dies in the first minute of the story!) These games gradually eased me onto the level that Greg was playing at. Believe me, he helped quite a bit along the way. Anytime a mission or quest would become too difficult or dangerous, he would step in and save the day (much like he does in real life.)
Honestly, I had a blast. I discovered things about writing and story arcs that hadn’t crossed my mind. I fell in love with characters, let them break my heart; it felt personal. The connection you create between this version of yourself and the choices you ultimately make, the relationships you cultivate, especially with yourself….it’s kind of like soul searching, a certain spark of self-awareness. You uncover things about yourself through a new and refreshing lens, things your mind might have previously overlooked.
Side note: Greg also got me a few of the classics I reminisced about to him from childhood. Remastered, of course.
Hint For Greg: I’m still waiting for a Tomb Raider game
Slowly but surely I began to gain confidence in my skills, so I am happy to report that I have completed The Witcher III: The Wild Hunt. And yes, do I mean COMPLETED (both DLCs included).
The ironic thing about this little anecdote was that Greg played the game years ago and at the time, I’d not been overly enthused, for whatever reason I still cannot fathom - only that it was supposed to turn out this way. Yes. Fate, my friends. Greg continued to tell me over the years that this would be the game to win over my heart. I would invest my soul into the story and characters because it had everything, and I mean he said EVERYTHING, that I love.
Like it’s always my turn? Greg’s always right.
So a few weeks ago, I took it upon myself to embark on this journey, for the most part, by myself. Though Greg sat by my side and consulted, even despite my snappy retorts.
Scene:
Greg: Make sure you save the game before you go near that cliff, this isn’t Assassins Creed-
Emily: I KNOW! Stop telling me what to-
*Emily falls off the cliff without saving game. Greg holds back laughter. Emily turns apocalyptic with rage*
FIN.
I played 99% of the game. Funny enough, Greg was the one traipsing across the countryside, my chauffeur if you will, while I took five minute breaks to collect myself from a back alley brawl over elven rights followed by an unfavorable conversation with a couple of sorceresses.
Greg watched in astonishment as I cut down foes, fearlessly charged into battle, upgraded weapons, got the best gear, wielded powerful magic, did every side quest, and took on all the monsters and bosses that turned my way (while helping every person I came across who was in need.)
I finally set the controller down. My heart was racing. I looked at Greg. He looked at me.
“You beat the game You did so many side quests that you can play both expansion packs now. I never got a high enough XP level to do them before. You’re insane.”
I smirked at him wickedly, “Well then, my dear Witcher, what say you? Shall we?”
Of course, this was my plan all along. I was absolutely determined to beat the game plus the expansion packs when I saw a “notice” that I would be able to acquire a beautiful villa with acres of glorious, isolated countryside…
On a motherfucking vineyard.
I knew, in that moment, I would stop at nothing, no task would be too great, no maiden more desirable, than a perfect ending to my journey: me, sitting in my villa, drinking homemade wine. The elusive Witcher, the wanderer, the one who roamed for hundreds of years, searching for purpose and peace, would finally settle down; would finally have a home.
Yes, best be assured, I acquired said vineyard and villa and land. Most importantly, Greg was able to the experience the continuing story he’d not been able to previously do. I’d like to think we inspire new thought in one another, and as artists and partners, this is so important.
Bottom line: It was awesome. We had so much fun. We laughed, we yelled, I cried, I panicked, I raged, I…you get the point.
I think Greg was a liiiiitttleeee impressed.
So what does this have to do with art, Emily? I thought this was an “art” blog? Okay, well it is. Video games are 100 percent, absolutely, a form of art, of storytelling that I am so thrilled to have discovered (and if you don’t believe me, check out Ghost of Tsushima).
Can’t you tell by how passionately I speak about them? Do you really think I would take the time to write this post if I didn’t believe in what I was saying?
Video games have the same affect on me that a really good show or film does, even more so actually. I completely give myself over to the character I take on, not unlike performing. Gaming mirrors art perfectly, even life—the hardships, the journey, the discovery of self and ultimately the triumph of completing a performance, a goal. The emptiness I feel when I close a production is the same heartache that fills me when I finish a really good game. You artists know what I’m referring to…dun dun dun: the void!
Though I sometimes play on my own, I love it most when Greg and I play together. Not together as in a multiplayer game, though sometimes we do break out the old Mortal Kombat or Crash Teaming Racing, but together as in we will embark on a journey, as a team, splitting the game down the middle- he will battle and I will quest, he will quest, so I go to battle. Or he takes on anything that gives me anxiety and frustration—usually stealth missions infuriate me the most, I’m awful at being quiet. But I pick up the slack when he’s like “How did you see that?” Or “What direction am I going in?” Simple as that.
We switch off playing depending on what is happening in the story. Given most of the games we play require us to make choices, I realized I was actually learning things about him based on what route he would take in the game and vice versa. It became an obsessive activity, to fall into a world that we would be able to immerse ourselves in while also applying our own morals and values to our journey. I wonder if there are other couples out there who enjoy this. Its one of the most wonderful bonding experiences I’ve shared with another human in my life. I highly recommend it.
I think what I like most about our strange little tradition is that it has brought us even closer together and allowed us to develop an understanding about how we would react in situations based on how the story is played out. I will scream at him if he makes a decision I most assuredly will regret and he will bellow at me to go left when I’m dead set on going right. But that is the beauty of it, forcing us to work together to complete the tasks. Even if we don’t always see eye to eye, we have the same end goal—to beat life. I uh, mean the game. Yeah, to beat the game!
Gaming has not only been an excellent way to pass the nights of quarantine, but it has also been inspiration for my own writing. I am blown away by the story-arcs, absolutely thrilled with the characters that I love just as hard as I hate, and the visual appeal of discovering new worlds, both familiar and foreign, has given me countless ideas for my own work.
If you haven’t given gaming a try, I highly suggest you do. Not only will you learn something about your partner, you might even discover something about yourself. For those who say video games are for kids, I say you’ve not found the right game for you. Keep searching.
Fun Fact: I voraciously look forward to Greg’s birthday each year. It’s when he usually receives a slew of new games, an absolute treasure trove.
He looks at me with a devilish glint in his eye, “You know these are my games, right?”
I nod demurely and let him think he’s won, little does he know he will be handing that controller over in no time.
It’s a shared experience that has brought us closer together. It’s a form of art that transcends not only observation and study, but actually allows you to become the game. It's your own personal story, a journey into yourself—there’s much to understand from that idea alone.
I am utterly grateful for this learning experience filled with artistic enlightenment and will continue to quest to my own heart’s content.
Thanks, Greg. You’ve opened my world and inspired me once again.