Sweatsedo: A Journey Into Burlesque

It all started with my “sweatsedo”.  My burlesque career really started before that with some community theater and a couple of dance acts in some pole dancing shows but the “sweatsedo” feels like a great place to start.

Let me start with a little bit of background on me.  I am a retired Army CID agent.  I did 20 years in the Army, mostly as a special agent in the Criminal Investigation Division, which means I wore a shirt and tie and worked a lot of rapes.  I ended up becoming a forensic science officer and specialized in death and sexual assault investigations and got really burned o,t after a few tours in Iraq and endless suicide investigations.

I once made a joke on social media that I thought it would be funny to wear a tracksuit to a wedding and when asked about it, to be all matter of fact, I said,  “Well of course I’m wearing a tracksuit.  This is a wedding, right?” 

My old Army friend, Scott, contacted me when he was getting married and asked me to be his best man.  He insisted I get a tracksuit and shared the “sweatsedo” website with me.   There were some more low key tracksuits on there that I suggested to him because they were the cheapest and he was paying for it but he suggested I go with something fancier.  I ended up getting this beautiful purple velour tracksuit with gold fleur de lis down the sides of the sleeves and pant legs.  It also says “SWEATSEDO” in big letters across the front.  During our discussion about getting a wedding tracksuit, I also joked around about how I would turn the pants into tearaways so I could strip out of it if necessary, mostly as a joke at the time.

Olympia, Washington has this incredible artist, Elizabeth Lord, who has an annual variety show called “Lord Franzannian’s Royal Olympian Spectacular Vaudeville Show.”  Our paths crossed doing community theater and I saw that she was holding open auditions. I showed up with my tracksuit in hand and an idea.

I’m a huge hip hop head going back to the late 80’s when, as far as I’m concerned, it was some of the best music going.  I’m also a karaoke guy and have sung “Going Back to Cali” a bunch of times and at some point while singing it, I got an idea.  It has that chorus, “I’m going back to Cali, Cali, Cali.  I’m going back to Cali……hm, I don’t think so.”  It was a perfect tease line for a burlesque act.  I could play with lowering my zipper during the first part of the chorus and then raise it back up during the “I don’t think so.”  I also envisioned a handful of props (which is common; early burlesque performers use lots of props!!!).  The biggest and most important prop was the suntan lotion, which is mentioned in the final verse of the song.  I cleaned out a bottle of suntan lotion and replaced it with plain yogurt.  I would finish the act by doing some mock fellatio with the bottle and then squeeze and blast it into my face for the money shot.  I would lick it off my face and fingers while dancing and everyone would go nuts.

At the audition, I played the song and just explained my ideas.  Luckily, there was a burlesque performer, Wednesday Du Monde, at the audition who heard my idea and offered to help by sewing snap tape into the pants.  She also made me two pairs of pasties, one purple and one gold, and took a plain black g-string and sewed some fantastic purple and gold fabric to the outside of them for me.  I used the karaoke track of the song and sang/rapped the verses when I did the act.  I did the show and brought the house down with the act.  I’m a huge Missy Misdemeanor Elliott fan so at the time, I performed as Mister Meanor.

There was another burlesque performer in that show, Zsa Zsa Bordeaux, who did an incredible burlesque duo with Wednesday Du Monde dressed as a sexy Ernie and Bert stripping to a Sesame Street song.  She was part of Rock Candy Burlesque, one of the two burlesque troupes in town, and other performers from the troupe that I did not know attended the show and saw the act.  After doing the show, another burlesque troupe (Twin City Tease, now the Hub City Shimmy) from a city south of us booked me to do that act on this amazing theater stage in Centralia, WA.  When I was booked, I made the decision to change my name to Bananas Foster as it’s an insanely delicious dessert and as nothing I’ll ever do on a burlesque stage would be “mean” and so my original name did not work. I also submitted video of the act and was booked in the Oregon Burlesque Festival which, looking back, was a really big deal as they are highly competitive and hard to get into, generally speaking.

Members of the aforementioned Rock Candy Burlesque were speaking with me during this timeframe and I had another idea that I pitched to them and they booked me as a featured guest performer. 

It worked out perfectly as they were doing a show with the word “Time” in the title and my act was to do a strip tease as Doc Brown from the Back to the Future movies. I got a lab coat and some yellow scrub like pants that could pass for a nuclear suit.  I already had a ridiculous Afro so I used spray to further whiten it and put on a pair of long yellow rubber gloves that were filled with glitter and nuclear symbol pasties.  The act started with Huey Lewis and the News “Back in Time” for about a minute of high energy dancing and then changed to “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauder where it became a sensual and self-choreographed contemporary dance piece.  My final reveal was a shiny pleather g-string that a friend helped turn into a flux capacitor with those cheap plastic glow-stick bracelets and when they brought the lights down at the end, shined bright on the stage.

Rock Candy Burlesque was awesome and booked me just based on me explaining my idea and gave me notes on my act during a dress rehearsal.  The show went great and I met guest performers and not long after, they asked me to become a member. 

I was so excited, being fully invited into the burlesque world.  We did regular meetings and did big shows about every three or four months where we would come up with new acts. 

We also began producing a monthly show called Tassel Tuesday where many of us did new or old acts and we opened up applications for in-town and out-of-town performers to submit acts.  We encouraged other types of acts to submit and perform as well so it was a full on variety show but it would usually be mostly burlesque from month to month.  Performers from Seattle and Portland would roll into town every month and do acts.  It was a lot of work and also a lot of fun.  We would put together group acts for our big shows and group choreography.  One of the members, May B. Naughty, an amazing costumer and maybe the sweetest human being I’ve ever met, would help with my costumes.  I would explain an idea and what I wanted to do and she would find the fabrics either in Good Will bins or on an annual trip to Mexico at discount prices. She would only charge me for the supplies and never the labor.

Being a cisgender heterosexual male over 40 in a burlesque troupe with seven, and at times eight, other women was an incredibly enriching experience for me.  I had spent the majority of my life, up until then, working with other males in law enforcement in the military.  The first several years, I always felt like a guest performer and not a full member of the troupe but over time, I felt completely submerged.  They were my creative artist sisters and I loved all their witchy woman magic.  I was applauded by other troupe members for never taking up too much space in the backstage area and always being respectful.  I always changed off to the side in the green room and looked away when other performers changed.  We had incredibly beautiful and creative performers both in our troupe and as guest performers every month and I got to share the stage with them.

Near the end, things got more and more challenging.  We always tried to get a consensus on decisions but with eight people, all artists, it could get absolutely maddening.  There was also some drama between troupe members that led to members leaving.  It all started off feeling like a very loving and inclusive community but once inside, there was some ugliness. 

The pandemic hit right around the time I was thinking about leaving the troupe.  It led to the closure of the Rhythm & Rye, an amazing live music venue where we had many shows, and eventually the dissolution of our burlesque troupe altogether. 

Identity politics were at an all time high during all of this and I watched one of our members get cancelled on social media and within burlesque and I was done.  Members of my own community turned on other members for incredibly petty reasons and I was happy to put that aspect in my rear- view mirror.

I don’t perform as Bananas Foster anymore.  I did 15 or more different burlesque acts over a six-year period.  I also sang a few songs in shows including an original one I did with an old punk rock friend from my teenage years.  I performed in shows from Seattle to Portland and spots in-between.  It was amazing having a stage where you could create acts and then perform them and get paid.  I did community theater in Olympia, WA and almost never made a dime but in burlesque (and vaudeville), you could actually get paid to perform as an artist.   I became way better as a listener and team member after spending a lot of time being a talker and a leader.  I turned 50 during the pandemic and still have some regret that I never got to take the stage at 50.  I feel like there might be a time at some point in the future where I change my mind and submit to a festival or return to the vaudeville stage but for now, I’m retired from burlesque or at least as a member of a burlesque troupe. 

As far as performing goes, there is no greater rush than standing near naked in front of a packed house of an audience, all screaming and clapping for you.  I definitely miss that feeling.  I still have the Sweatsedo.

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Bobby Brown is a retired US Army CID agent and current Washington State employee, originally from North Tonawanda, NY.  He lives in Olympia, WA with his wife, daughter and pugs.  In his free time, he is a karaoke host, actor, MC and bon vivant.

G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so

Music Connects

I am a voice teacher in training, an actor, a language and travel enthusiast, and a person who plays the violin. I have always engaged in varied disciplines and often rejected the notion that we’re supposed to pick just one thing. For me, this multidisciplinary lifestyle works, but spreading my time and energy in several directions sometimes makes me feel like I’m not good enough at any one thing. However, at this point in my life, I have come to terms with the fact that I won’t be the world's best violinist. I just want to keep experiencing the joy of playing music despite the nagging frustration of knowing what kind of violin player I could be, if only I committed fully to it. There have been years where I “put in the work,” thinking I might pursue it full-time professionally, while other years I put the violin down for months at a time and thought about quitting for good. 

In order to maintain a sense of balance in my life, I had to change my mindset: I learned to regard myself not as a violinist, but as a person who plays the violin. Taking away the inclination to define myself by my violin-playing has helped me release a lot of guilt and anxiety around not putting in enough time. I used to think I had to give it all or nothing; if I wasn’t the best, I didn’t deserve to keep playing. I’ve learned how to let go – how to let playing music be a source of joy that ebbs and flows in my life. In releasing the pressure, I have discovered the greatest reason to keep playing: music connects. My violin has been a constant source for connection over the years – to people around the world, to audiences, and to myself. It’s a vehicle to express my own unique voice, and serves as another way to communicate with the world around me. 

Our voices are important – important enough to me that I am working towards an MFA in the Linklater Teaching Practice and Theatre Arts, in London. The Linklater teaching practice, in short, is a methodology developed by Kristin Linklater and helps actors find freedom in expression through the voice. I want to help others find and express their true and authentic voice. I find playing the violin is an extension of my voice. The voice expresses thoughts, feelings, and emotions, all of which represent a person uniquely and intimately. In my studies I have learned that vocal communication happens when the impulse or need to communicate triggers breath intake, and the vocal folds oscillate to create sound on the way out, resonating in the bony hollows of the chest and head. We can look at playing an instrument as the same process, but instead of the sound beginning in our throat, our arms and hands and and fingers play upon strings, keys, frets, or buttons. Everything I play on my instrument traces back to me, which I have learned to value, even if it doesn’t sound perfect. 

Despite being in London to study voice, I still felt the desire to keep playing the violin. Coincidentally, there happened to be a traditional Irish music session at an Irish pub near my flat. A huge part of my violin background is in playing traditional Celtic music. Irish music sessions are typically considered open jams, welcoming any Celtic players, although they don’t always feel very welcoming. This group of warm individuals, however, welcomed me with bright smiles, hearty laughs, and many pints of Guinness. Every Sunday I took up my spot between two stellar traditional players and Irishmen: Foxy on the banjo and John on the accordion. I listened and laughed as they swapped hilarious stories of playing music in London and Ireland from before I was even born. They told stories about the very people who composed the tunes I played my whole life, providing an entirely new insight into the music I thought I knew. I began to understand how important storytelling is to the Irish – how much they value a good hook-line and sinker. I started to see the music as a means of storytelling for the Irish community, as if the music is their legacy to pass on to future generations. 

In my life, music has been a consistent thread through nearly all of my most memorable experiences. When I leave it to pursue something else, it finds a way back into my life. I have learned to release the pressure around it I used to hold, and I’m so grateful for all the people and connections it has brought into my life. I’m allowed to keep playing even if I’m not the best. Our voices are beautifully unique, and people want to hear what we have to say, in our own special way of saying it. We can let go of the need to sound perfect. I am not defined by my instrument – I am a whole human that has so much more to offer. As long as we boldly share ourselves through each of our respective art forms, letting our own unique voices come through, we invite connection wherever we go. 

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Casey McGinty is an actor, musician, and voice teacher in training. Casey is a graduate student at Rose Bruford College (London) working towards an MFA in the Linklater Teaching Practice (Voice & Theatre Arts), as well as becoming a Designated Linklater Teacher. In 2020, she directed The Vagina Monologues at ArtsQuest in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and has performed as Donna in Tony & Tina’s Wedding (Bethlehem and New Jersey productions). Casey is a Celtic fiddle player and has played regionally with PA bands including Fig for a Kiss, The Groove Merchants, and Bovine Social Club. She recently performed in London at the British Country Music Association Fan Fest. 

G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so.

Heavy Kettle!

Here is a short-list of things I have not seen until recently:

1. An attack on the CapitOl Building

2. A pandemic

3. A Ma and Pa Kettle movie

That's right, you read that correctly. In my 57-year love affair with vintage films, I have totally missed the 9 movies that followed Universal-International's THE EGG AND I.

Now, even as a youth I was not crazy about the Claudette Colbert/Fred MacMurray filmed adaptation of Betty MacDonald's 1945 memoir. In the film I was shocked to find Betty's character (portrayed by Miss Colbert) so subservient to her chicken farming obsessed husband (MacMurray) as to be a totally unbelievable caricature of the obedient housewife. This intelligent woman, who was so used to the comforts that life had to offer, follows her husband into the hardscrabble world of farm life with a smile on her lips and a heart full of devotion. It still makes me slightly ill to think about. When I did the research about the real Betty MacDonald, I was not surprised to find that her real chicken loving husband (Robert Eugene Heskett) actually was a bit of a loony and an abusive drunkard. The marriage lasted just over 3 years when Betty hightailed out of that nightmare situation pronto. Now that seems much more believable.

So, I was/am not a fan of THE EGG AND I, and this led me to be totally disinterested in the Ma and Pa Kettle series which followed in its very successful wake. To be frank, I wasn't crazy about the supporting characters of Ma and Pa Kettle in this first film. Ma was abrasive and way too loud (Marjorie Main was nominated as Best Supporting Actress for it, too!), and Pa was in no uncertain terms A BUM! His borrowing ways and extreme laziness were presented as supposedly lovable traits, but the whole thing only annoyed the heck out of me.

Well, my good pals Lon and Debra Davis had recently gotten in touch with me and asked if I would like a copy of their latest book, MA AND PA KETTLE ON FILM (so I could review it). Suddenly something inside of me clicked. I realized that I'd never given these films a chance, and with the book on the way I thought it would be a good time to order the entire series on DVD. I'm so glad I did. The subsequent films are funnier, possess more warmth, and are much more endearing than the film from whence they sprang. Of the nine films a few are really terrific, some are very good, and only a couple are just so-so. Not a bad record, to be sure.

I grew up in the New York area in the 1960's and 70's and I enjoyed watching Abbott and Costello films every Sunday at 11:30 AM. A few years before Bud and Lou took over that spot I watched the Bowery Boys every Sunday at noon. I even made time for the Blondie and Dagwood movies on Saturday mornings, and occasionally I would sit through one of the Francis the Talking Mule films (not a big favorite). But, only once do I remember a Ma and Pa Kettle movie being shown during my childhood. It was on CBS one Saturday afternoon back in the late 60's, but I didn't watch. I just wasn't interested. You have to remember that I was also inundated with TV's THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES, PETTICOAT JUNCTION, and GREEN ACRES (my favorite of the bunch), so the thought of another hillbilly comedy just wasn't at the top of my list of desired viewing.

Boy, was I wrong. After a shaky first film, simply called MA AND PA KETTLE (which was basically a rehash of what we'd encountered in THE EGG AND I) I began to get sucked into this family's warm and wacky world. I even found a new favorite Christmas movie, MA AND PA KETTLE AT HOME. Not only does it feature a very touching Christmas themed final half, but it also features one of my all-time favorite actors, Alan Mowbray, in a hilarious performance as a snooty agricultural writer. In this film the “stuffy” Brit is butted in the rear end by a goat, doused in pig's mud, pelted with eggs (among other things), and tortured by a frog named Oscar. This is the best film in the series and I can honestly say that I laughed and cried before the film's end.

As expected there are complaints from some modern audiences regarding non-PC content (it just wouldn't seem right if SOMEBODY wasn't offended!). There are two Native American characters, Geoduck and Crowbar who do ALL of Pa's work. While Pa lies in his hammock, or sits in his rocking chair, his friends do his heavy lifting. The bottom line is that these characters, despite their stereotypical way of speaking, are the Kettle's best and most loyal friends. They help Pa because they love the guy, and that's OK with me. They are usually the smartest people in the room, and their devotion to their friends is nothing short of admirable. There is also grunting about the stereotypical depiction of “mountain folk.” Yes, they dress in old-fashioned clothing, and they seem a bit out of touch with the modern world in general, but how nice it is to see these simple folk constantly outwit, or tame the dishonest or uptight city-folk.

Watching the films also made me realize that the running gags were as familiar to the fans of the series as the harassed mailman was in the Blondie movies, or Slip Mahoney's mangling of the English language was in the Bowery Boys films. Pa banging his rocking chair on the floor to turn on the radio is found in all of the films (the radio ALWAYS plays “Tiger Rag” until Pa bangs the chair again to switch the station to a more sedate melody). There is also Ma's bellowing, “COME AND GET IT!” as she calls their stampeding 15 children to the table for mealtime and the perfunctory saying of Grace by Pa always follows that, which is more of a tip of his battered derby than an actual prayer (apparently this was Kilbride's own derby given to him by New York governor, Al Smith decades before!).

As for character traits, Pa is still the laziest man in town and he still borrows everything he needs from anyone who will comply, but somehow those traits seem more forgivable in these films. Perhaps seeing the struggle of the young couple in THE EGG AND I being undercut by Pa's deadbeat ways made it somewhat tough for me to forgive. But in these films he doesn't prey on anyone who can't afford to lend a hand to the laconic layabout. He owes money to everyone in town, but it's accepted by most because it's who he is. He just wouldn't be Pa Kettle if he didn't have these foibles. Ma is also accepted as she is a loving mother and wife, in spite of her coarse and sometimes rough and tumble behavior.

Another plus is Ma and Pa's relationship. They occasionally feel romantic, but even more than that there is a benign acceptance between them of who they are and what they mean to each other. It's almost sophisticated in its depth. Ma knows full well what Pa is and accepts his behavior as his nature. Pa sees Ma as his savior, She does his work for him, raises the kids, pulls the plow, and on and on. Some might think that is unconscionable behavior from Pa, but there is almost something sweet in the unconditional love they feel for each other. Ma's workhorse ways are just the way it is, has been, and always will be. She doesn't mind so neither do we.

The children remind me of the Bowery Boys who weren't Leo Gorcey or Huntz Hall. That means they could have been played by anyone who fit the costumes. There was usually one adult child who took on the role of love interest with an outside character, but the children were mainly there for crowding purposes, If Ma occasionally forgot their names, it was okay because so did we.

So many welcome familiar faces show up in these films, and I was sure glad to see such favorites as the aforementioned Alan Mowbray, Ray Collins, Sig Ruman, Barbara Brown, Teddy Hart, Stan Ross (he of the Jackie Gleason Show, with his catchphrase, “I'm with YOU!”), Una Merkel, Emory Parnell, Ted DeCorsia, Charles McGraw, Ben Weldon, Sid Tomack, Esther Dale (as the stuffy “Birdie Hicks”), Marjorie Bennett, Elvia Alman, and so many more.

The directors and writers are like a who's who of classic comedy. Here we find Charles Barton, Charles Lamont, Eddie Sedgwick (MA AND PA KETTLE BACK ON THE FARM was the comedy veteran's final film), and Lee “Roll 'em” Sholem. Writers included Leonard Stern and Martin Ragaway (from the Abbott and Costello radio show, and The Honeymooners), Jack Henley, and Kay Lenard. But the most tantalizing name in the bunch is that of John Grant. Grant was one of the main architects of the comedy of Abbott and Costello. He was on salary so that he could effortlessly weave the reworked burlesque routines that he knew so well into the boys' films. Here he does the exact same thing for the Kettles. He was not a story man, nor was he great at structure, but he was expert at including bits like 7x13=28, or The Lemon Table bit seamlessly into a film's trajectory.

For Ma and Pa, the prolific writer included a version of 7x13, only this version was 5x14=25 (gone viral on YouTube!). He also managed to include the old Bud and Lou standby, “Loan me $50.00”. This is where Bud needs to borrow 50 dollars from Lou. When Lou tells him that he only has 40 dollars Bud accepts but adds, “Okay, give me the 40 and you'll owe me 10.” I found it fascinating after watching Bud and Lou do these routines for decades, to see these actors (who weren't comedians) performing this very familiar material. Unfortunately it doesn't work as well with Ma and Pa, but it still adds to my fascination with the films. (I've often said that if you want to know about the artistic merits of Abbott and Costello just watch somebody else try to do one of their routines. Nobody even comes close.)

As in other series films, the main characters are thrown into some unlikely situations. The Kettles win a contest and move into an ultra-modern house in MA AND PA KETTLE, they are invited on a trip to Paris, France in MA AND PA KETTLE ON VACATION, they go to Hawaii in MA AND PA KETTLE AT WAIKIKI, and even visit New York City in MA AND PA KETTLE GO TO TOWN. In most of the films they deal with swindlers, gangsters, spies, ornery neighbors, and a whole lot of various opportunists. None of them stand a chance against the homespun Kettles though.

Of course it's Marjorie Main and Percy Kilbride who are the main reason for watching these low budget (but hugely profitable) programmers. It's their relationship, comic reactions, and all around innate decency that made me fall for these films. In MA AND PA KETTLE AT THE FAIR, Pa is asked to stand in for the ailing church minister. Of course I suspected some kind of comical disaster to occur, but I was totally surprised and delighted as Pa makes a heartfelt and serious sermon about tolerance, and gratitude toward things like family and friendship. And as for Ma, she is one big raucous bundle of good common sense, loving motherhood, and total support for her enormous family.

I really like these people a lot, and I eagerly looked forward to each film as I devoured them in chronological order.

The final two films of the series are the weakest. This is due to the retirement of the irreplaceable Percy Kilbride. The man was in his mid 60's and he was quite tired of playing the same role over and over again. He lived quietly on his savings and his social security before succumbing in 1964 due to the effects of being hit by a car. He was 76 years old. Marjorie Main stayed on for the two Percy-less films, but it seems that those entries suffered from Stanley Clements disease. When Leo Gorcey left the Bowery Boys series they decided to keep things going with a different partner for Huntz Hall, played by Mr. Clements. These are the least entertaining films in the series, and so it was for the Kettle films, as well. Character man Arthur Hunnicut played Pa's act-alike cousin in THE KETTLES IN THE OZARKS, and then they hired a new Pa played by Parker Fennelly (most known as New England's own Titus Moody on the Allen's Alley portion of the Fred Allen radio show). But it didn't work. Fennelly and Hunnicut were both terrific actors, but only Percy Kilbride was Pa Kettle.

And so the series came to end after 10 films (including THE EGG AND I). Miss Main, who was by all accounts a very neurotic germaphobe who often “spoke” with her dead husband, did a little television after her final Kettle film (THE KETTLES ON OLD MACDONALD'S FARM, her 85th and last film) but decided to retire to a comfortable life in her Palm Springs home. She died of cancer in 1975 at the age of 85.

As for the brand new book, MA AND PA KETTLE ON FILM (Bear Manor Media/368 pages), it is the perfect reminder for those of you who'd grown up with these films, and the perfect guide for the uninitiated. Not only does it cover each film in complete detail, but we also are treated to firsthand stories from surviving cast members, biographical information on the main and supporting players, and relevant reviews (some by the New York Times, no less). We are also treated to full cast and crew listings, running times, an index, and so much more. It is the perfect book on the subject and I am proud to include it in my library.

In closing I just want to say that a part of the joy for vintage film fans/historians is the fact that we haven't seen every film ever made. In fact, we haven't seen most films...period! But it's the joy of the chase and the satisfaction of discovering roads not yet taken that keeps the fascination and curiosity burning within us. Even something as seemingly unimportant as catching up to these delightful low budget treats is enough to make the trip a more bountiful one. Long live Ma and Pa Kettle, and with streaming, DVDs, and hopefully Blu-rays, they will live a good deal longer than anyone probably ever expected them to.

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Nick Santa Maria: A native New Yorker, he has been a walking encyclopedia of show biz history since he was in single digits. He has appeared on Broadway in GREASE!, and THE PRODUCERS. He's done TV, film, radio, and stand up. He is the co-author, lyricist/composer of the Off-Broadway show, REAL MEN, the Musical. He has done more than 250 audiobooks, and is the dumber half of Biffle and Shooster, the fake 1930's comedy team (DVD on Kino-Lorber Video). His book THE ANNOTATED ABBOTT AND COSTELLO (w/co-author, Matthew Coniam) will be published by McFarland Press in November of 2022. Check out his website: nicksantamaria.com

 G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so.

The Best Survival Gig In Town

I started working in the commercial voice over world a couple of years ago. Life. Changing. Experience.

Why did no one tell me that this was a thing? Like, an actual acting job that can catapult your career and provide an incredible living.

“Give me your 6 year plan on how will you get to Broadway/Hollywood/Your Favorite TV Show,” said every college professor in the acting department.

I’m all about this exercise. Set yourself some goals. High expectations. Objectives that are ambitious but palpable.

However, there is one slight miscalculation made by every early-career actor when presented with this exercise and I think part of the problem lies in how this assignment is presented.

Therefore, I propose a more accurate exercise:

“Give me your 6 year plan on how will you get your dream job in the acting business, but since this is a very specific and competitive industry where you’re more than likely not making any money in your first professional years, please include exactly how will you be making a living while pursuing your acting goals.”

Okay, maybe the tittle is a little long. But the reality is that unless we get extremely lucky, we will be waiting tables, walking dogs, working at Pearl Studios, etc., before we can start making a living out of our profession. New York is expensive. And honestly, LA is too. Enter Commercial Voice Over (you know, the one thing that my college conveniently “forgot” to include in their undergraduate program).

Yes, there are colleges that offer some voice over curriculum, but commercial v/o is often forgotten, or at least not given the attention it deserves. Especially by students. And I don’t blame them! There is a stigma surrounding commercial voice over where some assert that it’s not really acting. Not only within our own ranks (because actors only work on Netflix or Broadway, right?) but also in a general aspect— the misconception being that a commercial actor must be an actor who failed at “real” acting if only because the general public, and even some of our colleagues, consider commercials something that anyone can do without needing skill or talent.

When I was applying for an Artist Visa, which is a work visa for international actors, I couldn’t include my commercial voice over credits because the US government sees commercial voice over work in the same light.

“You don’t have to be an actor to do a commercial voice over.” - The US Government

Which, by the way… how dare they? Secondly, wrong! I’ll simplify it ––– all it takes to do commercial voice over is to be able to read words from a page and make them sound as if those words are not being read from a page. So essentially… acted? Exactly. Acted by an actor; the people that train for years to be able to recite and deliver words as if they are not being read from a page.

So yeah… not a great reputation for commercial voice overall.

Even more ironic – Commercial Voice Over is the highest paying branch in the business when broken down hourly.

Let me explain.

Leonardo DiCaprio got paid millions of dollars to go freeze his ass for weeks in the Canadian Rookies. Don’t get me wrong, I will gladly go up naked to the Canadian Rookies for millions of dollars. But Leo is working 12-hour shifts every day, while quite literally freezing, and eating raw liver.

In contrast, I recently spoke to a colleague of mine who booked a campaign for Purell a couple of years back. The script for this commercial was, “Say no to germs. Purell”. Pretty straight forward, I’d say. Probably took him about 45 min to record the commercial. Oh, and he was fully clothed and warm while recording. Probably even sipping on some nice, hot, herbal tea to support his voice. He also ate a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich that was fully cooked. And he walked out with 6 figures from that one job. 45 min…. warm…. not eating raw liver…six figures.

Now, I’m not dissing the Leo’s of the world by any means, and my friend definitely didn’t get an Oscar for his work on the Purell campaign, but what I’m saying is –– Commercial Voice Over pays really well with little to no time commitment on one’s behalf.

If anything, Commercial Voice Over frees up time. It offers financial stability and even has the potential to sponsor personal projects. It’s also a way into SAG and Equity. It’s a pension. It’s a path to bigger, more ambitious projects, and frankly it’s the best “survival” gig an actor can find.

If you were also bamboozled by your undergraduate program and were never exposed to the wonders of Commercial Voice Over, remember –– you are not alone.

It’s okay. I’m here for you.

What do you need to do if you want to get into Commercial Voice Over? Take a class. Meet other actors, meet other teachers, meet casting directors; expand your network. I myself teach an intro class to commercial voice over at AMCP (The Acting Masterclass Project) –– which by the way, AMCP’s entire MO is offering affordable classes to early career actors. Check them out (amcpny.com)! But honestly, any class will do –– Actors Connection, One on One, The Growing Studio, *insert any other independent studio in NY or LA*.

Once you know your way around the mic and have several classes under your belt, you can start auditioning. There are several platforms specifically for voice over auditions. Take for instance voices123 or voices.com. And don’t forget the usual suspects–– I keep seeing so many V/O auditions on Backstage and Actors Access. Go get ’em!

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Andrés Montejo is a New York based, Costa Rican actor. Credits include performances at The Artery as Roland/Constellations by Nick Payne, The Fulton Theatre as Oscar/Sweat by Lynn Nottage, Shakespeare on the Sound as Duke of Austria/King John, The Flea Theatre as Lawyer/Odd Man Out, Central Square Theatre (Boston) as Daniel Castro and Reuben Cano/ Young Nerds of Color, The Playroom Theatre as Don John/Much Ado About Nothing. In front of the camera, Andrés has appeared in several short films and commercials as well as featuring as Ellis Archer in Strawberry Flavored Plastic, on AMAZON PRIME. He can also been seen in the award winning film Seneca on HBO Max. Montejo has also dived into commercial voice over, where he has participated in campaigns for Chase Bank, Twisted Tea, PEPSI, Bud Light, 1800 Tequila, Nissan, amongst others. Most recently, Andrés became the new voice worldwide in Spanish for Polo Ralph Lauren’s Fragrances.

 G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so.

The Work: Why I Teach Scene Study

As an actor, director, instructor and mentor, I firmly believe that the professional actor must constantly be WORKING.  Whether gainfully employed as an actor or continually and diligently engaged in the study of your craft.

My ultimate focus in teaching is Scene Study.  I am resolute that professional actors must be constantly engaged in preparing, building and creating characters in class.  It is critical work, vital for satisfactorily attaining excellence in the actor’s art and craft.  Whether you are working a paid acting job, or investing in your career by attending class, you must always be studying and plying your art and craft.   This is the journey, the arc, and the ultimate objective of an acting career.  Always be studying, preparing, self-educating, researching, practicing, and performing.  This makes for more cultured and civilized artists, without whom, the world has significantly less humanity.  

As a preliminary note, when I teach, my class focuses on scenes from theatre plays. Scenes are chosen by the actors from the entire historical canon of the world’s plays, from the Ancient Greek to the World Theatre of today and every period in between.  Scenes from stage plays are most useful for instruction.  We do not perform our scene work from screenplays, teleplays, novels or short stories.  The primary reason for this is that the literature of the theatre is written specifically for the immediate live, emotional, spiritual and energetic exchange between actor and audience.  There is no experience quite like it.  Screenplays, teleplays, novels or short stories are created with the hope of that exchange to take place at a later time.  Film and Television are more of a visual medium, produced with intention for that same exchange happening through the screen, albeit in a delayed fashion.  Novels and short stories leave this exchange to the private imagination of the reader. 

Throughout time, theater has played an important role in societies all around the world. The theater helped societies develop their religions and myths and played a key role in influencing thought throughout recorded history.  Acting on the stage, doing the literature from the historical cannon is the focus of what I teach.  It helps students learn to read and think critically.  This training translates to professional acting in Feature Films and Television as well. 

Scene Study is, as the name clearly implies, the study of scenes.  It requires the preparation of a scene or segment of a play, performed with scene partners in front of the teaching director who will then give notes, directions, adjustments and suggestions to improve and advance the acting work along.  Scene study is a vital practice for the professional actor.   Like a good physical trainer, sports coach, or orchestral conductor, an insightful teaching director can avail much to the growth, experience and cohesion of the actor and their performances.

Scene study is the best environment to teach acting for the professional.  With their partners they perform a dramatic or comedic scene and are then offered input, direction and feedback from teachers, classmates, and each other.  Scene Study also allows the actor to learn how to prepare for performance by working out actions, objectives, blocking, and direction on their own before bringing it into acting class.  Once presented, it is up to the teacher to direct and guide the actors into a more realized, fulfilling and honest portrayal and presentation of the playwrights’ work.  This is how the actor grows, matures and keeps the total instrument sharp.  With the energy of mind, body, soul, imagination, emotions and memory, our goal is to get all senses firing on all cylinders.

The greatest actors, the very best professional performers I have ever known NEVER STOP WORKING.  If they are working on an acting gig for pay, they are working professionals. If they are paying to work on their craft in class, they are working professionals.  Both reap rewards artistically and financially.   This is the best way to invest in your acting career.  The dividends are real and valuable.

Scene study hones skills such as emotional connection and character development as well as objective, tactics, and action.  These are some of the intangible things that are not readily available to the actor working alone in a vacuum.

Scene Study class for professional working actors is best for the actors who already have a basic theatre education, training and technique and are ready to take their art and craft to a higher performance level that mirrors a paid work environment.  It provides the discipline and focus required for the paid professional performances you do in your working career.  Scene study class also allows the teacher to direct the actors so that they are very comfortable in the give and take of direction and in the collaborative artistic work environment.   

Scene study compels the actor to listen, react, and focus on scene partners, take and receive notes, make adjustments and implement direction.  This is important because it allows an actor to see if all the techniques and exercises they use in class can be utilized to create an honest and dynamic performance with their scene partner and director.  It compels us to focus on the other actor and listen actively. Acting is REACTING. If the actor fails to listen and react the viability and believability of the scene vaporizes.  

As to the networking and collaborative nature of our careers, one of my constant mantras is: “Work begets work, work begets friends and friends beget work.”  This is a tangible benefit of Scene Study class.

Unlike the painter and his canvas, the musician and her violin, the dancer at the ballet barre, or even the woodworker and his lathe, the actor cannot exclusively work alone, without collaboration.  Naturally, you can work your monologues, memorize and rehearse lines alone, but ultimately acting is a collaborative art.  It requires an exchange of thoughts, words, energy, ideas and action between two or more souls.  Other than being engaged in a paid acting job, most of our work as actors must be done in the constant pursuit of bettering and honing all of the necessary tools of the trade.  The best place for that is in a solid and ongoing Scene Study Class with other professional actors and a strong teaching director.  Truth be told, much of the professional work I have gotten in my entertainment career has come from friends and colleagues I’ve met on jobs and in acting classes.  Those bookings far outweigh the auditions I have received from my agents over the years.  Work, friends, networking, and acting class have all helped me book many, many lucrative acting jobs.  

Let’s look at some simple definitions from the Oxford Dictionary.

·      TECHNIQUE:  A way of carrying out a particular task, especially the execution or performance of an artistic work.  Acting is a Technique.

·      METHOD:  A particular form of procedure for accomplishing or approaching something.  Acting is a Method.

·      ART:  The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.  Acting is Art.

·      CRAFT:  An occupation or trade requiring skill as an artist. Acting is a craft. 

·      GIFT:  A notable capacity, talent or endowment.  Acting is a gift.

The results are interesting and have a common theme.  Each definition above was the first result of researching each word.  The importance of this bears further investigation and focus.

Being an actor requires acquiring and applying a wide range of skills encompassing the following:

• TECHNIQUE: Good stage, screen or vocal presence.

• METHOD: The ability to enter into another character and engage an audience.

• MEMORY: The ability to memorize lines, movement, moments, memories.

• INTELLECT: Good understanding of dramatic techniques.

• INSPIRATION: Having the confidence, energy and dedication to perform.

• IMAGINATION: Creative insight.

I am often posed with the question, “What is the difference between ‘Method Acting’ and ‘Classical/Technical ’ acting practices?”  To which do I adhere to and teach?  I always answer: why limit yourself to one style or discipline?  Both are required to serve and inform the actor’s performance.   Let’s briefly define each of these disciplines as both approaches to acting can be vital tools in the actor's quest for a truly believable performance.  

Very simply put, “Method Acting” as we know it today began with Constantin Stanislavski at the Moscow Arts Theatre, which he co-founded in 1898 and developed until his death in 1938.  Stanislavski method acting techniques, originally known as “The System” were developed to help actors build believable characters. The process, which allows actors to use their personal histories to express authentic emotion and create rich characters, has been taught by many great teachers since, including Stella Adler, Lee Strasberg and Sanford Meisner among others.  It has matured and evolved over the ensuing years and has been the basis for many of history’s greatest performances.  Method acting helps actors create believable emotions and actions in the characters they portray.   

But even Stanislavski believed in and taught Classical Training or “Technique” as it is referred to today; it was necessary as a foundation to successful and memorable acting performances.  He believed that the actor must possess in-depth knowledge of different classical techniques and principles through which they can improve their acting.  Therefore, why try to separate the physical from the emotional experience in your practice and performance? 

Technique or Classical Acting has been around for centuries, although it has its modern roots in the British theater.  More focused on control and precision in performance, classical actors are more action-oriented rather than emotion-oriented. Classical actors often bring their characters to life with exactness and meticulousness and the solid delivery of a well-written scene can make a deep and memorable impact on audiences all the same.  

Classical acting is a very broad term that takes into consideration the foundations of training and skills the actor acquires through study and practice.  This includes: voice production, movement, speech, and practicing those skills while working on classical as well as modern plays.  A classically trained actor also knows how to handle verse and understands the classics from the Greeks to Shakespeare, to the modern drama of today.  Quite simply, Classical Acting suggests that the actor has spent a considerable amount of time in Classical Training.  These are very brief definitions of the acting philosophies I believe in and teach. 

It is my firm belief that actors must bring together both method and technique into their art and craft.  You must have a deep working knowledge and expertise in both method acting and technical acting so that you have a smooth blend of both.  A careful, calibrated and deft blending of both acting philosophies, results in a more satisfying and fulfilling “Method/Technique.”  Either discipline practiced to the exclusion of the other has less gratifying results, in many cases for both the performer and the audience.   So, is acting an art or a craft?  I say the two are most definitely inextricable.   As the years go by, with constant work, your gift set coupled with craftsmanship can result in an ownership of your art, in other words: mastery.  

The painter, the potter, the musician, the dancer and the actor must all have a solid foundation, grasp and proficiency with their technique or craft, before they can truly be free to create art.  If the painter doesn’t know the brushes, canvases and paints thoroughly it restrains their freedom and ultimately their art.  Also, the painter must have knowledge of art history, individual artists, the masters, the canon of world art, art methodology, and art theory as they all inform artists in their individual art and in their individual creative moments. 

As an Actor, getting yourself a broad education in basic acting technique, stagecraft, scenic design, lighting design, costuming, makeup, stage direction, stage management, theatre history, drama, comedy, the classics, and Shakespeare are all critical building blocks. Having this overarching knowledge of the theatre allows all of that study to be in you, part of you, and readily available to you.  It informs your performances consciously and subconsciously.  It brings comfort, peace and relaxation to your creative being.  In this case knowledge truly IS power.  Then and only then can you be the complete artist to freely prepare, build, and create living characters, roles, and performances.

By definition, the word craft refers to a set of skills that with sustained learning and practice over time leads to high levels of proficiency.  Gaining a craft is a commitment.  For some, it is a lifelong journey.  For the very best work, it is required.  Actors are tradesmen and acting is, as a vocation, the plying of your craftsmanship in an artistic way.  This takes practice, technique, skill and a certain gift set. Mastering it takes a lifetime.

 What is being gifted?  For starters, it is a blessing.  However it is just the beginning of art.  Your gift set is the starting point and without diligent application it can be squandered.  Instinct, imagination, intellect, vision, a sharp mind, a good instrument, and inspiration… these are all gifts. Happy are those who have multiple gifts, but that is simply the beginning. The actor must blend their gift set with focused, continual practice of the art and craft of acting.  That is the work.  A. B. C. = Always Be Creating!

Acting as your ART requires Action, Imagination, Concentration, Relaxation, Emotion, Memory, Motivation, a Sense of Truth and Faith and ultimately, Communion with others.  Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and recognizing that is where true genius lies.  Applying that knowledge is the key to success.  The Actor must relentlessly pursue THE WORK.  This all adds up to real moments of living the scene and the character in unison with your fellow actors.  It allows your body, mind, emotions, and soul to remain loose while your art, craft, technique, and performances remain tight.  You have to stay loose to be tight.  Artistic flow comes from this work and its discipline.  Artistry comes from a solid classical foundation with incessant study and practice.

The premise and philosophy of what I teach in my professional scene study class, entitled “THE WORK” is very direct, very straightforward and very simple.  Actors MUST always be working, whether you are being paid to work, or paying to do your work.  Every professional actor knows there will always be times between paying acting jobs.  It is vital to always be practicing your art and craft, even between those paying jobs.  Like a doctor practices medicine and a lawyer practices law, so too must professional actors practice their art and craft thus rendering a career as viable as medicine or law, and for a select few just as lucrative.  The continual and constant scene study we practice in class ensures the professional actor is persistently and diligently studying, working and growing, honing, and sharpening their tools.   Our art demands it of us and that’s exactly what scene study class is for and why it is so vitally imperative.

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Christopher “Chiz” Chisholm is a classically trained, award-winning Actor, Director, Producer, Writer, Creative Executive and acting teacher who has spent his career in all facets of the entertainment industry.  As an actor he has appeared on the New York stage and Hollywood soundstages, as well as repertory and regional theatres across the country and around the globe.  Mr. Chisholm has performed in over 200 stage productions, feature films and television shows in his rich career.  From Shakespeare to Shepard and Albee to Williams, Chiz has starred in classics, comedies, dramas and dozens of musicals over the years.  Chiz has been teaching Acting, Technique, Scene Study, Audition Preparation and The Business of Show Business for over 30 years from coast to coast and around the globe.  From New York to Los Angeles, Miami and Texas to Minneapolis, Chiz has worked with professional adult actors to assist in the honing of their craft, navigating their acting career paths and helping them to book jobs. Chisholm currently runs an ongoing scene study studio called THE WORK.

G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so.