Stories- we’re fascinated by them…stories of people, places, indelible traces…
…What was that song -you know the one I mean-
from “back in the day” - that song which still
occasionally drifts into YOUR head even today- like
the smiling ghost of an old friend- and you still
remember those lyrics all these years later - and you
feel that nostalgic twinge - of those ol’
“warm’n’fuzzies”…?
What was your song??
Chances are, those lyrics - of “your song” - were
performed - in Poetic Form!
In a nutshell THAT’S the Power of Poetry - what’s
said - and HOW- it’s read…can create an impression
in your mind.
Like most, I didn’t start out on my journey by
dreaming of becoming a Performance Poet…
Hardly.
And if you’re like me, your “education” about the
spoken word likely began early…
My Mom could affectionately whisper my name “Jim”
in such a sweet way that I’d feel like the best-behaved
Little Boy on the planet…
Or…she could ear-splittingly screech “JIM” on those
rare occasions, almost curling the paint on the walls,
when my Devilish nature took over- and I “allegedly”
misbehaved…!
Inflection 101.
In school, do you remember- as I do - that teacher
who made the lesson “come alive”- and pique your
interest in an otherwise hopelessly dull subject?
…And - that “other” instructor, whose low monotone
would almost make you prefer the nerve-jangling
sounds of fingernails -excruciatingly clawing their way
down -that scarred, tortured blackboard?
Inflection 201.
I’d learn more about inflection- and the necessity of
speaking & writing concisely- precisely - in my short
stint as a Newspaper Reporter in the now-defunct
Hartford Times in the mid-70’s…
A year out of College, there I’d be, agonizingly taking
notes during 4-hour local Planning & Zoning
Commission meetings - listening to some dreary
Politico take 10 minutes to drone on about his
mundane musings - which he easily could’ve wrapped
up in 2…
At that point, I knew…if I ever got my hands on a
microphone - I vowed “Don’t Be That Guy”…
To this day, I keep reminding myself…”You still love
groovin’ to the Allman Bros “Ramblin’ Man” - but
unless you can play guitar like Dicky Betts- (and I
can’t) don’t be one yourself”!
Be Clear & Concise - 101.
Back then I also began working in my first love-
Radio- at WCCC-FM - a Rock station - where I
rubbed elbows with a rising young talent- 24-year-old
Howard Stern.
During his year-plus in Hartford, Howard was evolving
- turbocharging his career - almost from the Clark-
Kent-like mediocrity when he first began - to
Superman status toward the end of his meteoric reign
in Hartford. Shortly before he moved up to the top-tier
markets, I saw him onstage at a huge concert venue -
where most of us exposure-craving DJ’s would
eagerly jump at the chance to stand in front of the
throngs of fans- and bring on the headliner…
But with the spotlight momentarily on him- Howard
didn’t do what most other jocks did- excitedly
announce the list of other shows “coming soon” to the
City…instead - he only bellowed out these three
words…
“I’M HOWARD STERN”
…and the fans in that sold-out Civic Center unleashed
a deafening roar…
Stage-presence - Postgraduate Level.
During my radio years, I sold advertising full time, and
pulled part-time air shifts too…
Had plenty of fun spinning the tunes- but carrying on
a conversation by yourself on mic is an acquired, yet
elusive art… and since I couldn’t captivate an
audience like Howard Stern could, the Bombastic
Boss kept exhorting me to - in so many encouraging
words - “Shut up and play the hits!!”
In selling to clients, on the other hand, I drew upon my
experience as a reporter…each had their own story-
and the more questions I could ask them - the better
I’d do - and success would usually follow.
Early in my career, I’d write the ad copy for some of
the smaller businesses myself - as creatively as I
could within the 30 or 60 second commercial “walls”-
while still working on the essentials like the name,
location, products - all that fun stuff!
And for that matter, writing Newspaper stories was
another exercise in brevity- for news coverage, you
get to the meat of the matter- and write at an easily-
understood Grammar School level. When the story is
complex- boil it down!!
I much preferred feature writing, where I could
interview, then flesh out their story with personal
anecdotes …but those opportunities were relatively
few.
During election season, we’d read the press releases
sent in by the local candidates for office - hoping we’d
publish…
Now, I always looked at writing as a “life skill”- almost
like breathing…and since I could functionally breathe
and write- I assumed nearly everyone else could,
too…
Then, I started reading a few of the mangled “Press
Releases” sent into the second-largest Newspaper in
Connecticut on behalf of these local candidates…
Silently shaking my head, I’d mumble…”OK- so- not
“EVERYONE” - can write!!”
Be Clear & Concise. 201
Many years later, I moved on to selling billboard
advertising for a large corporation- Lamar Adv. Co.
Occasionally, we’d get email communiques from
Corporate HQ in Baton Rouge- directly from the CEO
- and his messages were astonishingly simple…
Rather than show off his Mighty Corporate Stature or
his Elite Harvard University Education, he was laser-
focused on delivering an easy-to-understand
Directive- leaving no room for ambiguity or
misinterpretation. He’d make HIS words- count!
Less…IS More…
Be Clear & Concise. Post-Graduate Level
After retiring, I eventually dusted off my pen and
joined a local Writer’s Group and we Zoomed
through the Pandemic. Now sometimes, ANY Zoom
Meeting can be like Root Canal without the Novocain,
so I tried to spare The Group that agony - with fast-
paced story-writing, provocatively igniting, tried to be
engaging -occasionally enraging - and as entertaining
as possible…and since I DON’T play the Guitar…no
rambling!
Occasionally, I’d write in verse…then one day, I heard
about this group- The Shore Poets- with live Open
Mic sessions in the Long Beach NY Library…
And suddenly…all these “lessons” I’d been learning-
all came together!!
My poetic stories can be brief & whimsical…30
seconds for
“Catfish me- my real-life fantasy”…”she doesn’t care
about our 50-year age gap- swore to me so as she
slid down her strap”…
A different story- can be a wee bit longer - like my
dubious “Poets Guide to filing your Taxes”…laced
with a few improbable scenarios!
Yet another takes you through the real-life story of the
Incan “Ice Maiden” - a young teenager sacrificed to
the gods 500 years ago- pondering all the family and
village dynamics which led to her bearing the curse of
becoming “the chosen one”…to save everyone she
knew…
But it doesn’t end there- for her remains were
famously discovered in 1995, studied, and she would
subsequently “teach us volumes, without uttering a
word- your mitochondrial DNA was so well-
preserved”…
And - if given the fateful choice- would she have
chosen…
…”To reappear in 500 years- like a Sleeping BEAUTY
And posthumously feted - like a STAR IN A MOVIE
Or - would you have chosen a life of obscurity
Lived & died with the rest - in anonymous
tranquility”…
I titled it “Girl of the Andes.” This poem is a 5-minute
soliloquy, and it’s patterned after the iconic “Green
Fields Of France”, where the hiker sits by the
gravestone of a fallen WW1 soldier - reflecting on the
soldier’s earlier life -the state of the world which
caused his demise- and the ensuing carnage which
the soldier likely sacrificed his life to prevent - but is
still happening to this day.
Poetry, I’ve found, exists in life itself- and virtually
ANY story can be remade into poetic form…
Lately, I’ve focused on parody songwriting- with a
humorously jabbing Political twist.
Now- Politics aside for the moment (I promise)-
I’ve found parody writing to be a complete paradox.
On one hand, the songwriters I’ve borrowed from-
Dylan, Bowie, Billy Joel, Gil Scott Heron & others-
have penned unforgettable melodies & lyrics for the
ages -THEY’VE done the heavy lifting for you- and
when you’re on stage, borrowing those melodies and
mimicking their inflections- your connection to the
audience can be Electric!!
On the other hand, their lyrics are often amazingly
simple in their brilliance- which makes them so
accessible- and beloved…
BUT- as a parody writer- you’ve got to write your
lyrics within the confines of their melodic “walls” …
For instance, if their line is 10 words - you can’t jam in
18 words- or try to stretch out 6…
And if they’re at 23 syllables- can can’t cram in 35…or
slide by with 12…
AND…borrowing a beloved melody pushes you to a
far higher standard of accountability with the crowd. If
your words fall flat - if your intended meaning goes
splat- the ensuing audience’s moans and groans will
make you want to crawl under a rock…and there are
simply no rocks to hide under - from the glaring lights
on stage!!
So - it’s an easy-sounding- yet elevated challenge -
but when you make that Electric Connection- the
crowd goes nuts.
I’ve recorded a number of my politically- acerbic
parodies & posted them on YouTube & Tik Tok. Now,
since virtually no one would recognize my real name,
I created a Brand- “The Grouchy Grandpa Channel”
as my platform.
This is a pure hobby for me- and since I’m not
attempting to make any money off this, what I do is
legally considered “Fair Use” (DISCLAIMER-I’m not
an Attorney- nor do I play one on TV- so please- don’t
take this as “Legal Advice” -from me!!)
Throughout my life experiences, I’ve found there are
only 3 ways to speak…
You can speak AT someone…
You can speak TO someone
Or…you can speak WITH someone…
Now…if you’re on the receiving end…which way -
would YOU prefer to be engaged??
Whenever I’m performing poetry onstage, I try to
make it feel like a one-on-one convo with a good
friend - sharing a story and a good reaction…
And lastly…CHEATING…
Admit it…you cheat!
Remember when you’d cheat
- with a taste of that forbidden sweet?
How about that extra swig from that frosty cold
brew??
Or- when you lopped off that one promised loop in
your exercise regimen?
Or that time Uncle Sam would’ve furrowed his brow -
if he only knew about that piece of fudge oozing out of
your tax return…??
Whether your cheating involves the fallacious,
voracious, or the salacious (and spare us your sordid
details)...you cheat!
Everyone cheats…and yes…I cheat, too.
Whenever I write Poetry, I cheat (and not with that
creepy AI stuff, either)...
I can make every line rhyme - and I usually do…even
when my story touches the 8-minute mark.
No - I’m not a walking Thesaurus…I’m more like a
lumbering Brontosaurus…
but whenever I’m stuck for a word I whip out the App
“RhymeZone”
It’s a gold mine of ideas - and it & bailed me out of
countless jams…
And when I absolutely, positively can’t find a word to
rhyme, I simply change the line - and end with a
different word…that shines!
Rhyme Zone - try it yourself, and you’ll be well on
your way - to earning your PhD - in Poetry.
Cheating - Doctorate Level
Everyone has a story…
…and that’s Mine!
Thanks for your Time!
Oh- and here’s my YouTube Link to The Grouchy
Grandpa Channel…
…and about my earlier-stated promise of “Politics
Aside”? …
Well, Sorry, Mate -
It had an expiration date!
https://youtube.com/@grouchygrandpa-vt5og?si=nebSVwX1YWwV6DYZ
Performance Poet and Digital Creator Jim Coulter
weaves tales of the whimsical, ethereal, satirical, political, and often hysterical. Jim has been published in several Anthologies, and also photographs “ Poetry In Nature” along the shoreline of Long Beach NY. Follow Jim on the “Grouchy Grandpa Channel” on YouTube and Tik Tok.
G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so.