As a stand-up comedian for over 25 years, I have been very fortunate to be an opening act for many A-list comedians: Louie Anderson, Rob Schneider, Caroline Rhea, Dennis Miller, Kevin Pollack and some great musical acts such as Dion and Micky Dolenz.
But nothing prepared me for getting a call from The Paramount in Huntington, a magnificent venue for music and comedy. They asked if I was available, on very short notice, to open for Norm Macdonald.
As a fan of comedians, Norm was in my top 5 of all-time. That list includes such giants such as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Joan Rivers and Don Rickles. Norm had me from the first time I saw him on a show called A&E’s Evening at the Improv sometime in the early 80s. I had seen all of his movies (good and bad), watched his failed sitcoms, and, of course, followed his stand-up career.
I was beyond excited to meet and have the distinct pleasure to share the stage with one of my comedy heroes.
I arrived early in hopes to hang out with Norm in the green room. My plan did not disappoint. I got there and asked the gang of kids that worked there, “Where’s NORM?” They knew me since I had been fortunate to perform as an opener at The Paramount many times.
One of them said, “He’s in the green room. You can go in.”
I did.
Norm was relaxed on a couch and a nice-looking lady was there who introduced herself as his manager. I introduced myself as his opening act Stevie GB.
“Stevie GB? What kind of name is that?”
I immediately realized Norm is Norm off-stage and on-stage. Same cadence in his voice.
He asked, “Where you from? Around here?”
I said, “I live in Holbrook, it’s about a half hour east.”
“Oh, so you are from New York City?”
“No, that’s the other way”.
“I know, I’m just screwing with you.”
Although it was simply small talk, I felt I was in the presence of a true comedy icon. I always feel strange being around stars. It’s hard for me to realize they are just regular people. I don’t want to appear starstruck and go through the whole I’m a huge fan nonsense. I just hung by the door awkwardly. The woman was friendly and asked me the usual “how long have you been doing comedy” questions.
Suddenly, Norm looked at me and asked, “Do you have a toothpick?”
Of course I didn’t. Who carries toothpicks?
I ran out to the other room and shouted to one of the kids, “Norm needs a toothpick!”
One of them handed me a full box of toothpicks.
I ran back to the room and handed them to Norm. He opened the box and a bunch fell on the floor. I immediately went into my Rain Man impression, a bit I had done on stage for years but stopped doing because it felt a little old.
“52…yeah definitely 52 toothpicks.”
Norm laughed.
“I get it. Rain Man. That’s’ funny. Let’s see how close you were.” He actually counted the toothpicks.
“37. You were way off.”
Out of nowhere, Bill O’Reilly from FOX walked in the door. I try not to be political on stage and I am not a huge fan of the guy but it was still interesting to see him just show up. I shook his hand and told him I was Norm’s opener. He didn’t seem impressed. Norm and Bill seemed to know each other quite well. I didn’t want to feel any more awkward so I started to leave.
Norm said, “HEY, have a great set.”
I asked, “How do you want me to introduce you?”
He answered, “I think they know me. My name is on the ticket so say whatever you want.”
My opening 15 minutes went well. I felt comfortable and enjoyed the audience response.
It was time to introduce Norm. I just said, “You know him, you love him; here is Norm Macdonald!”
I looked over to the side of the stage to see Norm crouched down tying his shoes.
I ran over and said, “Norm, I just introduced you.”
“I know. I gotta tie my shoes.”
Finally, Norm hit the stage for an hour of rip-roaring comedy. He was brilliant, dark, and most of all
NORM.
His set ended and he saw me in the wings. Normally, the show ends and I walk back to the green room and get ready to go.
Norm said to me, “Go out and take a bow.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’ll go out with you.”
He did.
We walked out together and he went to the mic and said, “Let’s hear it one more time for Stevie GB. He lives New York City I think. I don’t know.”
In all my opportunities opening for big name performers, not once did any of them acknowledge me at the end of the show. I was merely the opening act that most people in the audience probably forgot about by the end of the show.
What Norm did meant a lot to me and still does to this day.
When I heard that he passed away less than a year later, it was a very upsetting day. I still miss him.
Stevie GB
is an award-winning comedian, actor, and playwright. Known as the world’s funniest accountant, Stevie has performed at Westbury Music Fair opening for Dion, and at the Paramount in Huntington opening for comedy giants like Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson, Rob Schneider, Norm Macdonald and many more. He has written and performed three one-man shows, 12 One-Act plays and a full length musical that appeared Off-Broadway. He has also performed as Groucho Marx to critical acclaim in Newsday. Featured on Amazon Prime and on News 12.
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