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An Announcement and a Tap Step

“Reminder -- auditions for the musical comedy Anything Goes is after school today. Students should meet at the stage and bring tap shoes. Be prepared to tap,” announced the principal of James Madison High School over the loudspeaker during my first hour biology class.

As soon as I heard the word TAP, I asked my classmates near me what that was all about. The girl sitting in the desk behind me explained our school was putting on a show that involved a lot of tap dancing and described it as a 1930s The Love Boat. It was my first year in high school, so I was still making my way but was certain I had to be part of that show. I had been dancing since the age of seven and tap was my favorite. After performing Ronnie the Robot Who Can Rock & Roll on the stage of my first dance recital, I was hooked!  Dissecting frogs was the furthest thing from my mind and all I could think about was approaching my choir teacher, the musical director, to inquire about the audition.  First hour bell rang and I ran into the Girl’s Glee choir room. I needed to speak to Mr. B before we started singing the notes to the Sound of Silence.

“Lynn, we already had auditions the past couple days. Today is the callback.” I am sure he could see the look of devastation on my face as I pleaded and shared my  tap dancing experience, so he promised to try to work it out.  “Well, I know you can sing so you passed that part of the audition.  I’ll talk to the director. Just come to the theater right after school and I’ll introduce you.”

Seventh hour accounting class could not come quickly enough. The minute the school bell rang, I scurried through the halls, dropped off my books in my locker, flew down the flight of stairs and swam through the sea of students to get to the lobby.

Mr. B was already in the auditorium leaning over the middle row of seats whispering to the director and choreographer. They both turned around to size me up which made me nervous and a bit uncomfortable. Pam, the choreographer, led me to an area in the hallway to see if these feet could truly move. She asked if I knew the time step and when I replied which one, a smile from ear to ear graced her face. This moment was the turning point in my high school career. In my life!

The next morning the cast list for Anything Goes was posted near the office and the wannabe Broadway stars were flocking around the bulletin board searching for their names. Under the lead role was a list of six angels and there was my name.  I did not even realize that I was given this great part.  All the girls who were cast in the ensemble were praying to be one of Reno Sweeney’s Angels.  Chants of  “Who is this Lynn Bertoni?” echoed the hallway and I looked around and played dumb. Nobody knew who I was because I never set foot on that stage to audition, but once we learned our first number and I aced the shuffle ball change flap heal step, they understood.  Rehearsals were my escape from the hustle and bustle of school.  My theater friends became my second family and I have never encountered such a kind, caring and accepting group of peers in my life. I belonged! 

The following year I was cast in the lead role of Nellie Forbush in South Pacific and Sugar in the musical version of Some Like it Hot my senior year. Our school was chosen to perform at the Pabst Theatre for the City Wide Theatre Festival.  Only three schools were selected so this was a huge honor. 

All my life, I wanted to become a performer as I pretended to be on a Broadway stage with the living room curtains as my entrance. My dad would play cards at a local tavern and prop me up on the bar to sing Raindrops keep Falling on My Head; Geyser cheese popcorn and M&Ms served as my reward. We often would sing for nearby nursing homes during Christmas and I relished those times. 

My father was known as the singing fireman and sang the National Anthem at numerous Brewers games so performing was in my blood. Big dreams of moving to New York or Hollywood swirled around in my head for as long as I can remember.  However, finances did not allow me to attend NYU, so I had to settle for UW-Milwaukee as a theater major. 

After the first couple weeks of my freshman year in college, I realized this was not the life for me.  After working as an usher at Melody Top, I saw backstage and did not want to make the sacrifices one makes in show business.  Family was important to me and soon I was looking for a profession that had more security.  I took a year off of college to find myself and during this hiatus, I waited on tables and worked in community theater. That year I played Miss Adelaide in Guys & Dolls and met my first and former husband. As I did four years earlier, he missed the first audition and a mutual friend, who felt I would get a callback, persuaded me to ask the director to allow him to audition at callbacks.  He did and was cast opposite of me as Nathan Detroit.  During that year, I did a great deal of soul searching and knew I needed to earn my college degree. My advisor informed me that all my theater credits could be applied to an area of concentration for a BS in Education. In order to see if this was a good fit, I had to serve 80 hours of observation in a classroom. The minute I set foot in Ms. Brown’s 4th grade classroom at Hartford Elementary School, I knew it was where I needed to be.

In 1986, I was hired to teach 5th grade at Cedar Hills for the Franklin/Oak Creek School District and continued my teaching career in the district for the next 36 years. The arts brought so much richness to my life that it was my calling to do the same for my students. Stated at the top of my resume was my mission statement with my plans to implement the arts into my teaching, so when I was asked to organize the talent show, I was elated.

Besides the typical acts of singing, playing an instrument and baton twirling, I choreographed a dance number for every grade level and would rehearse during my lunch period. My principal even became part of the show and did not hesitate when I asked him to wear coconuts and a grass skirt to perform Honey Bun with me from South Pacific. The talent shows were a smash and became an annual tradition. During my seven years in the elementary classroom, I had my students performing in Thirteen Colonies plays, Revolutionary War Newscasts and Westward Movement Silent Films.  I wrote and directed interactive US History lessons and was asked to teach Social Studies in middle school and implement the same lessons for the World History curriculum. My new principal took notice and offered me the drama and speech position and 8th grade is where I spent the next 29 years. I hit the floor running and was so enthusiastic to bring theater into the lives of middle schoolers.  They were not as enthusiastic. It took awhile for my reputation to follow me.  At first, kids were screwing around and could not follow a direction to save their lives. 

Drama class was considered a blow off class and the attitude of how hard could it be to say some lines and move on stage was evident. Getting them to attend after school rehearsals was a joke!  My passion and perseverance finally prevailed and my two drama classes put on quite the show. It took a few more years and with strategic scheduling to avoid track, basketball and cheerleading practice, drama class became very cool.  After five years of buying the rights of shows and placing so much responsibility on a few students with the leading roles, I decided to write and create shows for more kids to shine in the limelight. Thus, students would audition for a skit in the overall production and not feel the pressure of learning so many lines. It provided more roles and opportunities and ultimately spread the theater bug. I would coax theme ideas from students and write skits to create an hour long production. We produced Laugh In-a 60s Show, Friday Night Live, Vaudeville, Hooray for Hollywood, Night at the Improv and my last was This 70’s Show in which I developed a skit based on Cheech & Chong’s Sister, Mary Elephant.   Each student portrayed one of the teachers in the school and when Sister Mary Elephant said roll call, the audience roared.

My favorite and very heart-wrenching show was written in 2001.  The year before I planned to write a show titled Salute to America to incorporate some of my skits from my elementary days and this theme could not have been more timely.  I also wanted to teach my little thespians about war, poverty, immigration, and discrimination.  They learned much more while playing the roles of Abraham Lincoln, Clara Barton, Amelia Earhart, Franklin Roosevelt, Linda Brown, Martin Luther King Jr, and Cesar Chavez because they got to live it. The production ended with a slide show to honor those who lost their lives during the attack on America. There wasn’t a dry eye in the audience during the encore when the entire cast sang America the Beautiful and gave their final bows to This is My County.

In addition to teaching drama and speech, I taught two sections of math. I recruited the toughest high risk kids who were failing my math class to work lights and sound for my shows. The first year I taught drama, I had this student, Paul, who adamantly claimed there was no way I was getting him on stage, so I assigned him to lights.  I had no clue how to operate the light board and this kid figured it out in 20 minutes. During tech rehearsal, I made sure the actors on stage knew how important Paul’s role was to the production as he had the power to turn the lights off at any moment. That following spring, I encouraged Paul to grace the stage at our talent show by playing Abbott in Who’s on First?. Not only did he memorize the lines, he nailed it. His deadpan humor was hilarious and the praise he received from his peers was priceless. I instilled in my students that every job in the theater was critical to the overall production and it wasn’t long before the actors, stage crew, and tech crew became one big happy family. Students of all archetypes: shy, cheerleader, jock, tough guy, gothic, nerd- they became great friends through the theater. And Paul, with a number of others, raised his grade from an F in math class to a B in one quarter. The arts can do that and often are not given the credit they so deserve. T-shirts were made with the show logo with students’ names on tha back and were worn the day of our show. It was such a source of pride in our school that it became the event of the year. Those early rehearsals of me pulling out my hair became rehearsals of pure discipline in which one could hear a pin drop when I gave directions. What my students learned by putting on a show is that after curtain call, everyone is on a natural high and there is nothing like camaraderie.

Unfortunately, due to budget cuts and a new superintendent, who wanted to make her mark and implement remedial math and reading classes, drama class was no longer. After 14 years of proving the impact the arts had on these kids, it meant nothing to the administration. A new middle school was built in 2008 and clearly there was no consideration given to building a stage. There was a black box placed between the gym and cafeteria. No lighting board, no make-up room; no costume room. No drama productions. The only space given to the theater department was a storage room that was filled with wrestling mats.

Still, I managed to keep the arts alive in our school through drama club, talent shows and field trips.

I have been in contact with former students through phone calls, letters and Facebook. One student, Sobe, contacted me 23 years later through Messenger to tell me when she was a student in my 5th grade classroom, I helped give her a voice. Another student, Summer, who was struggling with self-esteem, sent me a card to let me know she was attending college that Fall as a musical theater major and my words inspired her. I held her after class and insisted she sing as an audition for the talent show during lunch.  Summer sang “All of Me” in that talent show because I told her she had a gift she needed to share with others. At my retirement party, my daughters surprised me with a video of my former students' testimonials. They shared their memories of playing Thomas Jefferson, tap dancing with umbrellas to Singing in the Rain, performing with future community theater groups, twisting in a poodle skirt, loading the bus to Chicago to see Motown, watching inspiring films, YouTube videos of young performers, along with a host of artistic moments they recalled as part of my daily lessons.

 The arts have truly changed my life and put me on the path to such a positive and incredible journey. Not only did the arts bring joy to my life and spirit in my soul, the confidence I gained led me to win Mrs. Wisconsin-USA in 1994 and Mrs. Wisconsin-America in 1998. With this title and the pageant world, I was able to bring attention to the importance of the arts in education. As I reflect on my life of 59 years, it is difficult to imagine those years without my involvement in the performing arts. I did not flee to New York or Los Angeles as originally planned, but I still was able to make the arts an integral part of my life as well as my three daughters’. I sent my girls to the Milwaukee School of Arts which was not in the best area of town. They may have been secure in a little suburb school, but I knew in my heart my children needed exposure to all of the arts. To this day, they remind me that attending a school which centered around the arts made them more worldly, empathetic, and stronger human beings.  My first leading role in the musical South Pacific as Ensign Nellie Forbush even holds some connection to all three of my daughters. Courtney is a nurse, and my twins, Natalie, married a Frenchman and Nellie bears the name.  All three girls have taken the creativity the arts offer into their own lives.  Courtney has a side cookie business called, Life’s a Batch. Natalie lives in France and works as a translator for her own business as well as a copywriter for a company and Nellie is an art teacher and is active in the Milwaukee art culture. They are by far my finest production. The arts are in all of us and if we, as a society, do not embrace and support the arts, life may only be noise coming from the loud speaker, just making another announcement.


Lynn Bertoni-Shaw is an actor from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and has earned a Bachelor’s in Education with a minor in Theater from UW-Milwaukee along with a Masters from Aurora University, Illinois.  During the past 43 years, she has worked in both professional and community theater in the Milwaukee Metropolitan area and Chicago. Although Lynn loved performing on stage, she dedicated her life to the classroom as an educator and recently retired after 36 years of service. She has earned the titles of Mrs. Wisconsin-USA and Mrs. Wisconsin-America and this led her to an appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show in which she agreed to spend a night in the Boone County Jail, Indiana to talk about her pseudo booking experience for the episode “Avoiding Arrests.”  Retirement offers Lynn the flexibility to develop her craft while pursuing greater involvement in theater, film and motivational speaking. In addition to Lynn’s life as an actor, teacher and mother, writing has been another passion and she plans to write her novel in the near future.

G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so.

Shelby’s Odyssey: A Wild Ride of Romance in all of its Artistic Forms

I own two t-shirts that I wore as inspiration to get through the journey of making my film SHELBY’S VACATION.  They will sound patently obvious… and yet, they are so true, as cliché’s are.  One has a quote from Winston Churchill: “Never, never, never give up.”  The other has Diana Nyad’s motto (and the title of her book about her swim from Cuba to the Florida Keys) “Find a Way.”  I actually heard Diana talk at the LA Times Festival of Books.  She was riveting.  It took her five tries to do that swim and she accomplished the 110.86-mile journey at the age of 64.  She found a way.  If she could do that, I could find a way to make my film.  And I didn’t have to worry about being stung by box jellyfish… although irritated State Park Rangers was a close second.

SHELBY’S VACATION, once upon a time, was a full-length feature script.  I wrote the initial drafts in the mid 1990’s, inspired by a trip I’d taken to and from the Grand Canyon.  On that trip (and all of my Grand Canyon trips), I stopped in Kingman, Arizona, for gas and food.  It’s always windy in Kingman and when I opened my car door, a gust of wind blew through the car (the passenger window was down) and scattered all of my notes and maps (this was pre-internet).  I thought, wow, what a great beginning to a movie.  Our heroine gets completely lost because the universe yanks away her directions!  I ended up sending my main character, Shelby, up highway 395 instead of into the desert, simply because I love the Sierra Nevada mountains. 

The basic elements I crafted in the early drafts have always remained the same.  Shelby, mid-to-late 30s, is heart-broken because once again she fantasized about a potential relationship that didn’t work out – and this most recent time was particularly humiliating because the crush was on her boss, Marion.  She heads out of L.A. to find comfort in nature but loses her maps and directions thanks to the wind and ends up at a rustic resort high in the mountains.  Of course she falls for resort manager Carol, who has her own fantasies (from the past instead of the future) that get in the way of creating a long-term relationship.  Both women go on a journey to learn why they’ve held on to their idealized versions of love.

Having no clue as to how to move the movie ball down the field into production, I put the script away and focused on my stage plays and TV scripts. 

In 2008 I took a vacation to Rock Creek Lake in the Sierra Nevada and thought, man, this is the perfect setting for SHELBY’S VACATION.  So I got the script out, brought it in to my then-writers group, and polished it up.  I’d tried previously selling my film script SIGNS OF LIFE by having a reading with actors and inviting small production companies.  I got some interest but not strong enough to really launch it.  If a straight romantic comedy wouldn’t quite sell, how the heck was I going to sell a lesbian dramedy?

I put the script away again.

Then I got an email in 2010 about a script contest called Chicago’s Pride Films and Plays.  I noticed that the categories were geared toward gay men’s stories.  I wrote the executive director of the contest, David Zak, asking him, “What about lesbian stories?”  He wrote right back and said they would have a contest for our stories the next year. Hooray!

So when I got the contest announcement the following winter, I sent in SHELBY’S VACATION.  Lo and behold, I made the semi-finals and then a few weeks later David’s group contacted me.  They wanted to do a staged reading of the script for a gay pride event in Vermont. Hallelujah!

In July of 2011 I paid for my own plane ticket and made the trip to Randolph, Vermont as my summer vacation.  I had a glorious time.  I got to hear a fun reading of the script, ate samples at the Ben & Jerry’s factory, and I drove all over Vermont to hike in rolling green mountains – with no billboards on the interstate as I traveled!

Filled with passion from the Vermont experience, I returned to L.A. vowing to turn SHELBY into a film.  I dug out three years of MovieMaker magazine and absorbed all the lessons producers who came before me had learned.  I bought THE book on how to do a business plan and then learned the woman who wrote it (Louise Levison) lives mere blocks from me in the Sherman Oaks, so I paid her to critique MY business plan.  I attached my first director… who stayed for just a few months and then dropped out.  I attached director #2, who stayed on board for a few months… and then she, too, left, to focus on a TV stage-managing job.  Director #3 was with me a few months, and then she moved to Washington State.

Finally, I reached out to a friend who sent an email blast to the Alliance of Women Directors (AWD).  I should’ve done so years ago; I got two-dozen responses. I weeded and weeded and narrowed things down to a half dozen, did interviews, did second interviews in-person, and finally picked Vickie Sampson.  Vickie and I had met many years ago in a networking group called Cinewomen, so there was a comfortable energy between us.  She came armed to our meeting with a lot of enthusiasm about the story as well as printouts of actresses who could play the roles.  Vickie had directed some heartfelt shorts, snappy award-winning PSAs and commercials and was hungry for a feature-length film.   Perfect!

That was in May of 2013.  Then the real fun began: Looking for Investors.

I devised a passionate one-page letter, a one-page story summary plus our creative team bios with years of experience in The Biz (Vickie brought along a great cinematographer and I had a couple of line-producer gals with us as well).  I had my business plan; I had my budget (we had a variety of them over the years, but the smallest one I had for the feature version was $270,000).  I made a look-book of photos I culled from my trips to the majestic Sierra Nevada mountains, where SHELBY’S VACATION is set. I set up an LLC, I hired a good designer to craft a website... I WAS ALL SET!

I approached a handful of reasonably well-off friends and got only one “yes,” but I thought it was a solid yes.  I scoured back issues I had of the LN (Lesbian News, a legendary L.A. publication) for gals featured in articles and in ads for their real estate or law businesses.

Then I hit upon what I thought would be the ticket: I found a group up in San Francisco called StartOut.  They provide mentoring for LGBT entrepreneurs starting their own businesses.   I sent several of them my powerful letter – arguing how rarely we see quality lesbian films – THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT to name one of the rare ones back then.  I pointed out that Hollywood so rarely said yes to these kinds of movies that we needed to fund from within our community.  I explained that SHELBY was different than many typical gay films – no one was coming out; no one felt tortured about being gay.  It was a story of two adults figuring out their relationship patterns and why they couldn’t live in the present.  We’ve never seen this story before, I proclaimed from the mountaintop.

And what I heard in return:  crickets.  Over three+ years I approached 40 individuals, either as investors or someone who would know someone. 

Meanwhile, we were networking.  I’ve been going to Outfest every summer (L.A.’s huge LGBT film festival) since the early 1990’s and to ramp up for SHELBY, we worked it, baby, we worked it.  I researched films ahead of time, their producers, their actresses, and then we went up to these folks after their screenings.  We sent my script to some of them, had follow up phone calls, and even met a few at their offices.  Vickie also got great at approaching well-known actresses after screenings at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences.  Sum result: nada.

So after four years of hard work, I had no attached stars, no production company backing and just two potential investors, neither of them 100% telling me what they would put in.  That wasn’t enough to guarantee $270,000.

In July of 2015, I happened to read a lesbian detective novel called LEFT FIELD by Elizabeth Sims.  It was charming, fun, engaging… and at the end of it I thought, HANG ON, I could turn the story of Shelby into a novel; that way I could tell the whole story and not worry about cutting the budget (because I was forever trying to get the budget down).  Then, we could tell the end of the tale in a short film, say, 25 – 30 minutes.  Forget investors, we could raise the money via a crowd-funding campaign.

Vickie agreed it was worth a shot.

I had been leery of doing a crowd-funding thing for a few reasons.  First, I’ve done several of them with my writers/actors group Fierce Backbone and also for a web-series I co-wrote and co-produced (THE CALAMITIES OF JANE) and I’d learned it takes a village.  We had dozens of people involved with Fierce and JANE and it was still a struggle to raise $25,000 for both causes.  You need more than two people to raise that kind of money.  Or so I thought.

I started on the novel (after reading a couple of books on how to write a novel to pick up pointers on how they’re different from movie scripts).  I set myself a goal of writing three pages a day, five days a week, and by the spring of 2016, I was 80% done with the first draft.

For the movie, I cut the 90-page script down to 25. I cut all of the other characters and focused exclusively on the essence of the story between Shelby and Carol – the moment when they meet, the moment when they connect, the moment when they agree to do a ritual to get rid of their bad habit of holding on to fantasies… and of course the ritual itself.

Vickie and I reached out to a handful of actresses we knew and had them come over to my living room and read in pairs.  The script worked!  We picked our two favorite actresses and we were off to the races, or rather, the slog of raising money.

Nagging Mom / P.T. Barnum

We went to a seminar lead by Emily Best of Seed & Spark and she really is the best.  Seed&Spark (S&S) is a crowd-funding platform solely for independent films.  Kickstarter requires that you raise 100% of your goal (we did that with JANE, and it’s migraine inducing); IndieGoGo will give you whatever you raise.  S&S asks that you raise 80% of your goal, and I thought that seemed like a good compromise.  If we’d gone with IndieGoGo and had raised only $10,000, we would not have been able to hire a professional crew and were adamant about that – and about paying them.

Our budget goal was $36,000 and 80% was $28,000.  While Emily and company were full of tips and enthusiasm, they conveyed to us something along the lines of… a short film at S&S had never raised that much before.  I was nervous, but I wanted to prove S&S wrong. 

On April 1, we shot a teaser with our two actresses up at Switzer picnic area in the San Gabriel Mountains aka The Angeles Nationals Forest, which sits on the northern edge of Los Angeles.  It was a small crew – director Vickie, Kimby Caplan our D.P., a sound guy, and a make-up artist.  I got to wear a lot of hats – craft services / lunch / props… and I learned how to do the slate clapperboard.

Vickie did a fantastic job of editing the footage into a compelling teaser.  We shot a bit of me doing a pitch to donors (citing the deplorable statistics of women and LGBT folks in Hollywood) and edited that in as well.  I had to strategically plan what footage to send out at the beginning and then more snippets as our campaign progressed.  Each email blast needed a fresh angle that highlighted why people should support our film.

From the campaign of the web-series THE CALAMITIES OF JANE, I learned to not offer tangibles as premiums for the different levels of giving – it takes extra money to produce things like hats and t-shirts.  So we made the premiums for SHELBY easy to fulfill – nature photos of mine, visits to the set, hikes led by me, downloads of the film.

During the campaign Vickie and I spent a lot of time sending emails out – personal ones, group ones every few days, using the selling points I’d honed approaching the 40 investors previously.  Hey, that experience was good for something!  I read someone else’s blog about their fund-raising campaign, and she said she felt like a cross between a nagging mom and P.T. Barnum. Yep.

The money came in – sometimes in big chunks of $250 and $500, but mostly as $25, $50 and $100 contributions.  Our actresses didn’t have a lot of luck finding supporters… and then the one playing Carol dropped out saying she had another wonderful opportunity come up.  Crapity-crap-crap-crap.  But we had to soldier on.  We did not tell our audience yet because we didn’t have time to recast and reshoot the teaser smack in the middle of the campaign. 

I had a couple of favorite elements during the campaign – one was writing personal “thank yous” to each and every person who donated.  Whether it was a big sum or a little sum, my heart overflowed with joy and I loved sending gratitude out. The other thing I enjoyed was putting special thank yous up on Facebook:  I would take one of my nature photos – like a shot from the Grand Canyon – and put a phrase at the top like, “’Tis grand… generous friends” and then I’d list the donors of that particular day in the post.

The June fund-raising was 40 days and 40 nights as I would joke later, and it was a nail-biter near the end to get to 80% of our goal.  But I had a few miracles happen in the last week of the campaign.  I contacted an old pal at a well-known production company – he and I had worked together on my first TV show job back in 1988 and we went to the same college.  He and his wife made a very generous donation.  Then, the day before our campaign was ending and we were still $1140 short of our 80% goal, I ran into a friend in the lunchroom where I work at UCLA.  I told her how exciting the campaign was, how grateful I was, and I didn’t even ask her for money, I was just genuinely sharing my passion.  She asked how much we were short, and then she said, “Hmm, that’s four figures.”  I thought she was going to do a math thing, like, “If you get 11 people to each donate $100, you’ll get your goal.”

She got out her checkbook.  I thought, oh, she’s gonna make a donation and I started to do my, “Hey, any amount is fine,” speech.  Then she handed me a check.  I started crying.  It was for $1140.  Here was a co-worker, who probably doesn’t make much more than I do, and yes, we’ve talked about stories and art before, but I hadn’t told her much about the movie and I hadn’t done any kind of pitch to her for money.  This is what happens when you are genuine and full of passion with no expectations:  a miracle.

So we had our goal, and then there was another miracle:  The following day, I got a text message from a woman I used to see at an annual Oscar party for years and years.  Her partner had passed away the previous winter… and she wanted to make a donation in her honor.  It was another generous amount.  So we actually hit 90% of our goal!

Switzer in the San Gabriel Mountains (where we did the teaser) wouldn’t need a reservation (but we’d get a permit and be legit this time) but Harwood Lodge near Mt. Baldy (the second half of our shoot) needed a reservation so I called the Sierra Club (of which I’m a member and they own the lodge) and the only available time they had was the last weekend in August.  WE’LL TAKE IT, I said.  We decided to film the first week in August at Switzer and I contacted the River Ranger District Filming lady and was all set to send in our film permit application the last week in July. 

Then came a big curveball:  the Sand Fire (every fire in California gets a name).  The Sand Fire broke out north of the San Gabriel Mountains July 22nd.  The fire was several miles away, but as fires do, it romped through vegetation and BAM, in a few days, big trouble.  People lost their homes… and the River Ranger office stopped issuing filming permits, including ours to shoot at Switzer.

With almost no time before our scheduled shoot, we had to find a location.  I’ve been hiking in the local mountains around L.A. for nearly 30 years, so I had some ideas.  One idea that did not work:  Griffith Park – the lawns at street level are manicured, so it doesn’t seem like a real forest, and equally important, the permits to film there are very expensive.  I suggested to Vickie we try some nearby state parks.  We drove up to Topanga Canyon State Park early one weekday morning and Vickie saw the potential – lots of oak trees. To get a permit for a state park, you’re supposed to apply four business days in advance.  We were now less than four days away – we called Mr. V at the Parks Dept. film office and told him we wanted to drive over to where he was stationed to fill out our application RIGHT NOW.  He laughed and said we could come by for tea but the application was on-line.  Oh.  Got it.


Instead of driving home to do it, we drove to a high spot on Topanga Blvd. in the Santa Monica Mountains to get good cell reception and filled out the application using Vickie’s cell phone.  Remember this moment:  Vickie told me what the format was for the dates we wanted:  year, month, day.  And we knew our shoot dates by heart, Aug. 3, 4, 5.  We filled it out and hit “Apply.”

 

Shortly thereafter, I received a confirmation of our application and another application to fill out, with our credit/debit card info.  I did that, and at the bottom I wrote the shoot dates and multiplied that times the permit fee for each day.  I sent it in and Miss B in the permit office sent me an email asking for another application, for just the first day.  Remember this moment: I wrote back and asked why, and were they going to bill me three separate times for the three shoot dates?  It made no sense to me.  Miss B wrote back and said she’d get back to me, and she copied Miss C on that email.

 

August 3rd came and we all arrived early at Topanga Canyon State Park, we’re there when the ranger officially opened the gate, yes, off to a good start.

 

Next curveball.  I knew the parking pass machine dispensed passes for $10 a pop.  I came armed with lots of $10 bills.  Great idea, huh?  I had not read the fine print on the machine.  It would take only $5 bills – what the !@#$%?  So I used my debit card… and after three passes, the machine stopped working – perhaps it thought, “FRAUD.”  I used my credit card… for three passes and then that stopped working.  I cobbled together other cash and cards for the rest of our cast and crew.

 

Mid-way through the parking machine tap dance, a very stern-looking Ranger Supervisor came over to me. “LET ME SEE YOUR PERMIT.”  I felt smug and whipped that sucker out.  He looked it over and snottily said, “You have too many people here!”  He practically threw it in my face and said he was reporting me to Mr. V, the man I’d been in contact with over the phone.  He stormed away and my stomach went into Knotsville.

 

Okay, I knew on the permit application it asked how many you had in your crew – under or over 14.  If you had over 14, you had to have a ranger monitor and a bunch of other stuff.  We had a teeny bit over 14, like 17.  I thought I’d go with the “spirit” of the rule – the under 14 was for “small” productions and we were a small production.  To me it was true.

 

By the way, when the Ranger Supervisor looked around at all the cars, some of them belonged to other hikers, not our group, and so he didn’t even count how many people we had.  He just yelled.  To be safe, I sent a few of our volunteers away, to get our total personnel number down.


It was a 12-hour day but we got beautiful footage. Our actresses and crew were superb. 

 

And then I began to worry.  I’d never heard back from Miss B or Miss C about charging my card for our next day’s filming.  I’d sent a follow-up email and made a phone call to remind them.  Still nothing… but Mr. V called in the middle of Day One and said I did not have a permit for the Day Two.  I was livid and told him the whole story about the application on-line where we filled out the dates, how I’d TRIED to submit the credit card application with all three filming dates.  He had no sympathy and said Miss B was in Billing and knew nothing about the actual permits.  OH GREAT, NOW YOU TELL ME.  But he said we could fill out an “addendum” to film tomorrow.  Great!  I had our line producer, Kristina, fill that out, and whewwwww, we were good for Thursday.

 

We came back Thursday, right there when the gate opened again.  I had gone to a grocery store and a drug store the night before to get a boat-load of five dollar bills to feed into the parking machine today – you will not defeat me, “Take that, Parking Machine Monster!”

 

Half way through the day, Mr. V let us know there have been “complaints” about us – that we had too many people again.  I actually had met one of the rangers who came to visit our shooting site, and he was very friendly and seemed okay with us.  I told him we picked up other people’s trash, we had a small footprint, and we were leaving the place better than how we found it.  Apparently having a couple of extra people was too much for the color-in-the-lines bureaucrats.  Mr. V said we were denied a permit for Friday - no addendum, no nothin’.  So, I spent the rest of Thursday with my stomach in Knotsville again, trying to find another location.  I was at least lucky enough to have cell phone service at Topanga Park to make calls; many people did not; it was spotty even for me; my favorite place was under a tree in the parking lot, which I began to refer to it as my “office”.  Well guess what:  you can’t get a film permit at the last minute.  Then I discovered private ranches – no permit required!  But they were exorbitant (hello, $7000, for one day, really??).  Finally near the end of Day Two, I made an executive decision.

 

The Sand Fire was mostly contained by this time BUT the Forest Service wasn’t issuing film permits until the FOLLOWING week.  We would lose our D.P. by then.  We had to shoot Friday.  And we would go back to Switzer where we filmed the teaser.  Without a permit.  I didn’t like going renegade, but I literally had no other option.  I told director Vickie… and I said we need a story in case a ranger came by our Switzer spot.  Vickie said she would pretend to be a college instructor with a class.  Perfect.

 

One more curveball:  our sound guy wouldn’t do a shoot without a permit, so we had to scramble to find a sound person during the evening of Day Two for Day Three.

Switzer Redux

 

Early on the morning of Day Three, I handed out Adventure Passes for parking to the cast and crew as I stood on Angeles Crest Highway… and then drove on up to Switzer picnic area.  The crew unloaded camera equipment… and DUM DA DUM DUM DUM:  the Ranger Lady showed up around 9 a.m.  That morning I’d almost put on my MovieMaker T-shirt.  Instead, as a safety precaution for confrontation, I’d picked out my Grand Canyon “Just Hike It” t-shirt so I’d look like a hiker and not a film producer.  That moment had come.  Brayton, our Key Grip, and I hiked right past the Ranger Lady as she picked up trash.  We talked loudly of hiking in Alaska (his home state) to sound really authentic.  Meanwhile, when Director Vickie saw Ranger Lady, she calmly introduced herself as a college professor teaching students how to photograph nature.  Luckily not every piece of equipment was out of the van yet (yeah, nothing says “college students” like a SteadiCam harness and a jib…) and only a few of the crewmembers were with Vickie at that point. The Ranger bought it.  After she finished with the trash, she left, and didn’t come back the rest of the day.  Whew.

 

We spent a glorious 12 hours filming our actresses (we still had Laura as Shelby and by mid-summer Brynn Horrocks had joined us as our new Carol) running around in the woods “play fighting” with sticks.

We wrapped about 8 p.m., as it was getting dark.

Ignorance is bliss

 

If I’d known the Sand Fire was gonna break out…

If I’d known 17 people was a deal-breaker with the State Parks film dept…

If I’d known my boss at work was gonna pitch a fit when I asked for time off in August when we had to move the shoot from June (August is a big month for my department)…

What? I wouldn’t have done the film?  Ignorance is bliss.  You go with the info you have at the moment and keep your fingers crossed.

 

In spite of all the curveballs, we were ready for our second location, Harwood Lodge.

 

Harwood Lodge – a slice of heaven, a dream come true

Finally at Harwood, I could have a good time and do less worrying.  There were no pesky persnickety State Park Rangers, I wasn’t hounding donors for money, we had a solid cast and crew in place – and as an amazing bonus, we had eight, count ‘em eight, volunteers (many of whom I knew through the Gay & Lesbian Sierrans).  We literally couldn’t have done it without them.  They helped prepare food, then clean it up, set furniture and props and then move things for the next scene, and they acted as background extras.  They did it without complaining.  In fact, no one in the entire crew complained – and we worked hard – 12, 13 hours a day.

I was in my element:  high (6000’) in the mountains, surrounded by pine trees and craggy peaks, making art.  There were many dreams that came true during the weekend.  I’d purchased a Celtic Tree of Life t-shirt in England a few summers back and had hoped it could be used for the film:  our art department ended up framing it and putting it on the wall of Carol’s cabin.  I got to watch (and help) our Art Dept. gal, Melissa, hang up the “Welcome to Sierra Glen” sign, and hear the actresses say lines that I had written years ago.  The hand-made journal I’d worked hard on (with the help of friends, co-workers and some cast & crew members all writing in it) looked big and full – as if it had been around for years, filled with made-up adventure stories.

We made a movie!

 

One of the few challenges we had was staying on time.  We were supposed to be done at 8:30pm on Friday and we went to 9:30p.m.  On Saturday, the line producer, the First A.D. and I all worked to keep things moving, with more success.  The D.P. did ask me if we could shoot a dinner scene outside under the pine trees – as was originally planned – but we’d already started to set it up indoors and the director had already done a blocking rehearsal.  I just said no.  No explanation, no apology, just no.  We shot in the dining room and it looked beautiful.  And we got done that night by 8:30. The next day, Sunday, we wanted to be done by 6:30 because we needed to pack up and everyone had an hour-plus drive home.  The final shot was a fantasy kiss, with sunlight from behind the actresses, and when the sun disappeared behind the mountains at 6:15… that’s a wrap!

I stood in the parking lot w/ Vickie and with tears in my eyes we both said WE DID IT, WE MADE A MOVIE!

Shelby’s Vacation has gotten in to over a dozen film festivals and won a bunch of awards.

And now the novel

 The movie version of this story ended up being just under 40 minutes and was very satisfying to watch.  And yet… I still had this yearning to tell the WHOLE story of Shelby.  So, during the beginning of COVID, with extra time on my hands, I got out the novel version of SHELBY’S VACATION and polished it up.  I hired an editor who proofed it twice, and then I submitted it to a variety of publishers, which is another journey.

I’m thrilled to announce it was just published on June 1st of this year, 2023.


Nancy Beverly has been developing plays for several years with the writers’ / actors’ group Fierce Backbone, including Dyke-Doggie Patrol which was chosen by the Alliance of L.A. Playwrights for the city of West Hollywood’s 2022 gay pride readings. Thanks to the Harrison Grant from Fierce Backbone, she will be producing and starting in her one-person show Sister from Another Planet at the Hollywood Fringe Festival in June 2023.  Some fun honors:  her play Community made the finals of Sacramento’s B Street Theatre contest and the top 12 of the American Association of Community Theatres play contest.  Nancy’s professional career began at Actors Theatre of Louisville where she was the Assistant Lit Manager and had a slew of ten-minute plays produced, including Attack of the Moral Fuzzies, which was published by Samuel French and has been produced dozens of times around the U.S.  In L.A., she worked on such hit shows as Rosanne, Blossom, Desperate Housewives, and Ghost Whisperer.  She wrote and produced the film Shelby’s Vacation which got into over a dozen film festivals and won a boatload of awards.  More good news:  the novel version of Shelby’s Vacation has just been published and is available now from BarnesAndNoble.com (eBook and paperback) and Amazon.com (paperback), as well as from other online booksellers. Get your copy today!

 

G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so.

Good Idea, Bad Timing

I’ve been writing screenplays for decades, but I have yet to sell one. I’ve had some close calls, and I’ve been hired to do assignments, but I’ve never sold a spec…

…SO far.

Instead, I keep at it, in spite of an annoying pattern that should have put me off of writing forever. It’s a pattern that all writers can relate to; every scribe I’ve ever spoken to has similar stories to tell. 

The pattern? Good idea, bad timing. Let me cite a few examples… 

In the early 1990s I decided that, since I loved the Universal horror movies and there hadn't been a serious Dracula movie since the 1979 John Badham version (which I loved), I would write one (and yes, I’m aware that Dracula was a leading character in 1987’s Monster Squad)

 My bright idea was to make it like 1958’s It! The Terror From Beyond Space or 1979’s Alien (which I always felt was kind of a big-budget remake of the low-budget 1958 film) with a monster terrorizing people in a confined space. So naturally, I thought: why not write an entire script just about Dracula's voyage from Transylvania to England? I used the chapter in Bram Stoker's novel that detailed the doomed voyage of the Demeter as a jumping-off point, but added a woman and her child into the mix; they come under Dracula's spell as he slowly decimates the crew (an idea inspired by the Candice Bergen-Sean Connery relationship in 1975’s The Wind and the Lion).

I finished the script in 1991, and sent it to an agent at the Gersh Agency whom I had briefly worked for as an assistant. And right at that time, it was announced in Variety that Francis Ford Coppola was making a new version of Dracula (released a year later as Bram Stoker’s Dracula, from a script by James V. Hart, who began writing it in 1977), so the agent felt there’d be no interest in another Dracula script for some time. 

After some years had passed, I thought of putting the script out again as a potential cable movie, or even turning it into a novel. Then in 2012 I heard about the novel Dracula's Demeter and the film adaptation of it that was in the works; since that time I also keep hearing about the potential The Last Voyage of the Demeter, a film which has been in pre-production for years. So my script sits on a bookshelf in my apartment unread and unrealized, alongside another example…

In the mid-1990s, a couple of years after the Dracula disappointment, I wrote a script about 1920s Arctic explorers, based on a true story. I thought Matthew McConaughey would be great for the lead role and had a producer friend get the script to him. He liked it, but felt he was a bit young at the time to play the lead character, who was in his 40s (a decade older than McConaughey at the time), so he passed. But he did say he'd be open to seeing more of my work, so thinking about what kind or role would be appropriate for his persona, I wrote a script about an Evel Knievel-type motorcycle daredevil. Just as I finished it, I read in Varietythat the next film from Rob Cohen, director of Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, would be a biopic about Evel Knievel..... and attached to star was Matthew McConaughey. 

When a few years had passed and that film hadn't gotten off the ground, I thought okay, let's rewrite the script and try it as a Showtime or HBO movie. And just as I finished the rewrite, I read that TNT was doing a TV movie about Evel Knievel starring George Eads, which did get made. 

Again, right idea, bad timing - twice. 

And then there was that time that I thought a movie about tornado storm chasers would be a good idea, until this guy named Spielberg announced his next project would be a film called Twister...

These are just a few examples. There have been others. Many others. And I know it’s not just an isolated phenomenon that happens only to me. Some years ago, one of my friends had an idea about the toys of a child that come to life and experience all kinds of adventures when the kid is out of the room. No sooner had they told me about it than Pixar’s Toy Story was released. And one of my bosses at Nelson Entertainment was working on a spec animated musical about ants, until… well, you know.

So what’s going on here? Is every screenwriter’s home/apartment/phone in Los Angeles and vicinity bugged so execs can steal their ideas? 

It's one of those things about which I used to warn my scriptwriting students: there are certain ideas that just simply ride the zeitgeist, floating through the air like radio waves, and as writers, we always have our story antenna up, so it's not uncommon that several different writers will tune in to the same - or a similar - idea. 

That’s how competing King Kong remakes were announced almost simultaneously in the mid-1970s (Universal’s was put on the back burner, while Dino DeLaurentiis’s became one of my guilty pleasures). A couple of father/son body-switching movies were also released around the same time (Like Father, Like Son in 1987, Vice Versa in 1988), and two Robin Hood movies competed in the early ‘90s (Kevin Costner’s made it to theaters, while Patrick Bergin’s went to Fox TV), and so on and so forth.

I could give a dozen examples of how I've begun developing ideas or even written full scripts only to learn that an almost identical project has been sold or gone into production. You’d think it might be discouraging, but I love writing too much to give up just because synchronicity exists. 

I find some comfort in this thought: my instincts are good, only my timing is lousy. 


So far…


Bruce Scivally has worked as an editor, producer, writer, director and even special effects assistant on music videos, TV specials, feature films and documentaries.

He worked in the business affairs departments of Nelson Entertainment, Sovereign Pictures and Cinergi and is the author of the books Dracula FAQ, Billion Dollar Batman, Superman on Film, Television, Radio and Broadway and co-author of the book James Bond: The Legacy with John Cork. Currently, he is one of the producers of The Miracle Show for Questar Entertainment.

G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so.

The Aesthetic Experience of Observing Dance

Over the course of my dance career, I’ve heard many non-dancers make interesting remarks while reflecting on a dance performance they just watched. They would say things like: 

“Wow, I enjoyed the show so much…I felt every single move!” 

“Didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did. The performance really moved me.” 

“Couldn’t understand the concept behind the piece but it was pleasing to watch.” 

“I did not understand anything that was happening and I could not connect to it.”  

All of these statements are valid responses from audience members. However, has anyone ever stopped to ask the following questions: 1. What actually caused them to have this response? And 2. What factors affected their overall experience?

While exploring the phenomenological experiences that take place within dance, it is interesting to consider the observer’s experience while watching a dance performance. Observing movement is more than just an observation of several visual images in motion. It is an outer body experience. Some may think that the dancer’s experience in the acts of performing, choreographing, rehearsing, and/or improvising, differs completely from the experience of a person who is simply just observing. However, there are some similarities between the two. 

Dance is meant to conjure up an aesthetic experience for the observer, just as it is for the dancer or choreographer. It is usually created with the intention of causing the viewers to have a cultural, emotional, and/or meaningful response. While viewing a dance performance, audience members are forced to do more than just observe with their eyes.  They must use their perception, which goes past the typical gaze or stare. This means that they are forced to interpret and find meaningful value within the art they are currently experiencing. It can almost feel like a heightened, artistic, sixth sense.

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 When people go to see a dance performance, their expectations and feelings towards dance itself, can influence their overall experience and shape their perception of the performance. For example, if someone who is only interested in Hip Hop goes to see a Ballet, the experience they have while watching, and their interpretation of it, may differ from a person who favors Ballet. This doesn’t always mean they will disengage because of a lack of interest. Oftentimes people unexpectedly end up enjoying dance performances they were not interested in at first. However, in some cases, it is harder for the observer to fully digest something that is uninteresting to them or completely foreign. 

Based on my observational experiences within dance, I’ve discovered that prior information and viewer interest heavily influences the observer’s experience. Usually, I am almost certain of the experience I will have while attending a performance for a specific dance company or musical. The assumption I make is usually based upon my interest in the style or type of dance that I am going to watch. Also, if I am not familiar with the work of the choreographer or style of dance, prior reading or research would definitely influence my interest as well as my experience. 

In the article Dance Choreography and the Brain, Dutch choreographer and researcher Ivar Hagendoorn provides some reasoning for why this happens. “Experimental psychologists use a technique called priming to study how prior information in general, and unconscious attitudes in particular, bias people’s perception and judgment.” 

 In a separate article entitled The Dancing Brain he further explains: “Appreciating something cognitively and enjoying it emotionally are not the same. Each person’s individual experience of a dance performance is the product not just of perceptual processes, but also of their interaction with memories, associations, and personal preferences.” 

The phenomenological experience of observers is not just shaped by what they are processing visually at the performance but by their preconceived interests, information and expectations concerning the type of dance they are about to see.

When people watch dance their responses and/or feelings about the movement are also dependent upon their ability to comprehend and follow the piece. It can be hard for a person to fully understand the movement they are observing if they do not comprehend the feeling, experience, or true meaning that lies underneath the creation of the movement. Also, it may be hard to understand a movement that is specific to a culture with no prior knowledge, context, or understanding of that vocabulary. 

Collecting research, or actually undergoing the physical experience of art that is unfamiliar, provides the observer with a better outlook on the true meaning and purpose. In Variations on a Blue Guitar, Maxine Greene compares this experience to meeting someone new. When a person is meeting someone else for the first time, “the proper way to encounter another person is to be open to them, to be ready to see new dimensions, new facets of the other, to recognize the possibility of some fresh perception or understanding, so you may know the other better.” 

This concept can be applied to experiencing unfamiliar art for the very first time. Collecting prior information and taking interest in physically experiencing the style of movement can greatly influence and heighten your phenomenological experience while observing a performance. When the body is put through the actual motions and engaged in the movement being displayed, it provides a unique bodily experience that cannot be duplicated through words.

On the contrary, collecting prior information or having interest in a specific choreographer or dance company can lead to the development of expectations. This simply means that the same phenomenological experience is expected whenever individuals watch a performance from a dance company they thoroughly enjoyed. If people see a great performance, they expect to have the same experience when they see another piece by the same choreographer. However, if they are bored and do not enjoy the performance, their expectations are downgraded and they have trained their perceptual expectations. The observer’s experience can also affect choreographers while creating new work; they may either try to replicate the same emotionality of a previous work or they may explore another direction. This is the risk a choreographer has to take.

When the true depth of the movement is understood and appreciated, it enhances the observer’s response to it. For example, some observers may find themselves unconsciously dancing in their chair while watching a performance. Why? Because the brain is stimulated and the observed movement is causing the observer to have an outer body experience. 

In Some Speculative Hypotheses about the Nature and Perception of Dance and Choreography, Hagendoorn touches on this point. He hypothesizes that while observing dance, the brain is submerged in motor imagery. If this is correct, an observer can be described as virtually dancing along while watching choreography/movement. An observer watching choreography is flooded with choreography and various movements that may not be a part of the brain’s own movement repertoire. Or as Hagendoorn puts it, “And just as actual movement when exercised to excess produces a state of arousal, so may virtual movement.” 

One way for sure that this hypothesis could be tested is by recording the brain activity of someone watching a short dance sequence. However the results of this experiment may be hard to interpret because of the activation of many brain areas.

This topic has always been of great interest to me as an artist because of the experiences I’ve had as a choreographer while observing the dancers in my company rehearse or perform. At times I wouldn’t be able to clearly express in words what I was experiencing in my mind and/or body as I watched them move. The experience was like none other, and it immediately made me question if other dancers, choreographers, and non-dancers shared similar sentiments while viewing dance. Throughout my work as a choreographer, I’ve discovered that the explanations for the sensory feelings of an audience watching a finished work are no different from the sensory feelings of a choreographer watching a work in progress. Unlike the audience however, a choreographer can continue to adjust a piece until the entire work fits the perceptual and emotional impact the choreographer wishes for the audience. Nonetheless, we all end up walking away with some form of an aesthetic experience.  


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Michelle Isaac

Brooklyn-based performer, choreographer and dancer

Michelle Isaac was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. She began dancing at the age of 4 in church, and started formal training in high school at Dr. Susan S. McKinney Secondary School of the Arts, under the direction of Zakiyah Harris.  Michelle received her BFA in Dance from LIU Post with Honors Recognition in 2015. Shortly after graduation, she performed in Tamara LaDonna's Moving Spirits Inc. as a company dancer, and completed a choreography residency with a contemporary ballet company in Brooklyn, NY. In 2019, Michelle completed her graduate studies through the Arnhold Graduate Dance Education Program at Hunter College, and graduated Summa Cum Laude with her MA in Dance Education and K-12 NY State Professional Certification. 

Michelle is one of the Co-Founders of a Brooklyn based dance company called Ntrinsik Movement and functions as the Artistic Director. With Ntrinsik, she has choreographed several works, produced concerts, hosted community and school workshops, and has performed in various NYC theaters, as well as theaters outside of NY. Aside from performing and choreographing, Michelle is a full time dance teacher, and continues to provide dance workshops and classes for children and adults in various churches and dance schools throughout her community. 

G&E In Motion does not necessarily agree with the opinions of our guest bloggers. That would be boring and counterproductive. We have simply found the author’s thoughts to be interesting, intelligent, unique, insightful, and/or important. We may not agree on the words but we surely agree on their right to express them and proudly present this platform as a means to do so.

Stevie GB – The World’s Funniest Accountant Celebrates 30 years on Stage

The year was 1982. My new wife and I attended East Side Comedy Club in Huntington, NY. It was considered the premiere comedy club on Long Island. I don’t remember who the headliner was because I was focused on the feature act, sometimes known in comedy as the middle. It was a guy named Bobby Collins. As I watched in hysterics, I recall turning to my wife and saying “I want to do that someday”. Little did I know that 30 years later, I would be the opening comedian for Bobby multiple times. I think every performer has that one person that inspires them to make the big move. 

It took me 9 years after that 1982 show to actually take the plunge. However, it was not by choice, but rather a dare. I was out to lunch with my office co-workers at my accounting job at a place called The Juke Box Café in Hauppauge. A themed restaurant owned by WBAB DJ Bob Buchman. Meredith, from the office, pointed me to a poster on the wall and said, “Look at that!” It read: Talent Night. Singers, Comedians, Magicians, bring your talent every Wednesday. Win valuable prizes

“You should sign up,” Meredith continued.  

“Me? I can’t sing.” 

“No! Comedian! You’re hilarious. You can do jokes about where we work” 

(By the way, that never works). I didn’t say anything, but just stared at that poster. 

I was always funny; I got it from my dad. I watched comedy for years. I think it started when, at around the age of nine, my mother sat me down in front of the TV. “Watch this - it’s funny.” It was Duck Soup featuring The Marx Brothers. I had no idea what I was watching, but I was immediately drawn to Harpo since he was the slapstick a kid of nine would understand. It took many years before I understood the genius of Groucho Marx, one of my comedy heroes, who I had the honor to portray many times over the last 10 years.

At 10, I discovered making the bullies laugh stopped them from picking on me and making the girls laugh was fun, though it never really got me anywhere. I am pretty sure it was the acne that kept them away. Throughout school I would listen to all the classic comedy albums like George Carlin Class Clown, Robert Klein, Bill Cosby, etc. and repeat them verbatim in school the next day. I wasn’t just a fan of comedy; I was a student. 

By the time 1991 hit and Meredith showed me that poster, I was already a well-trained comedian, without setting foot on stage.  So, I signed up for the talent show.  They gave me 15-minute spot in between all musical acts. I was the sole comedian on the show. I didn’t know until years later that doing 15 minutes for the first time, in-between musical acts, equated to comedy suicide. As they say, you don’t know what you don’t know. I only had 6 days to prepare my 15-minute set. I wrote down every joke I ever heard from my dad and many observations I had thought about over the many years. I practiced over and over and I felt ready. I decided to use the moniker of “The World’s Funniest Accountant” since accountants are never thought of as funny. I threw on a bowtie and some suspenders and used an old nickname I had from the late 70’s. I was a punk rock fan and spent many nights at CBGB, the famous NYC club. I was there so often, one of my friends started calling me Stevie GB. I thought it had a nice ring to it. Hopefully easy to remember. Turns out, I was right. 

The night came and I was sweating bullets. My entire office staff came to watch me. Not sure if they were rooting for me or hoping to watch me crash and burn. I was not scared; I was in a state of euphoria. Now, this is the part of the story where I’m supposed to say I bombed horrifically. I didn’t. I don’t really remember much of it. It was an out of body experience. I ended up taking 3rd place in the contest and my valuable prizes were a t-shirt and a Bonnie Raitt cassette. More importantly, on my ride home, I discovered what I was meant to be. A comedian. I thought to myself, this was it. I should be famous in a couple of months. I’ll be on Letterman by Christmas and be able to quit that stupid job. It didn’t work out that way. Oh, glorious delusion. 

Over the last thirty years, I have been lied to, ignored, robbed, cheated, and insulted. I quit 3 times only to return because not doing it drove me crazy. 

I have never had a sitcom. I never made it to Letterman or any late-night show for that matter. But I have had many small successes along the way. I have written and produced three One-Man-Shows. I portrayed Groucho Marx in a play with The Marx Brothers to rave reviews, including a cover story in Newsday, selling out 23 consecutive shows around Long Island. I have written 12 One Act Plays, a full-length play and a musical, many which have been staged in various NYC theaters and festivals. I have opened for my comedy hero Bobby Collins eight times, and performed at Westbury Music Fair opening for Dion & The Belmonts in the full round sold out show of 3,000 people. I have performed at the 1,500 seat Paramount Theater in Huntington 10 times, opening for comedy greats such as Norm Macdonald, Dennis Miller, Rob Schneider, Louie Anderson, Bob Nelson and more.

I have also performed at firehouses, libraries, churches, backyard parties, block parties, private homes (including living rooms), and of course comedy clubs. I spent 2 years travelling on the road to Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Ohio and I hated every minute of it. The road is not for me. I love Long Island and have very little trouble getting booked locally. It’s been an amazing journey filled with highs and lows and I’m not finished. 

During my time as a comedian, I have also performed as a stage actor in many community theatre productions. Mostly Neil Simon plays, portraying Felix Unger in The Odd Couple, Mel Edison in Prisoner of 2ndAve, and many more. 

I help out new comedians with joke structure, stage presence, and try to tell them about the pitfalls of the business, even though I am still trying to figure that part out myself. 

As I approach my 30th year, I have no idea where the time went. When I get down on myself because I haven’t “made it”, I look back at what I have accomplished and I can stand tall and say, I am a comedian. It’s not about fame and fortune. It’s about constructing solid jokes and stories and bringing that creativity to the people. The energy of the stage and the sound of the laughter from something I created is like a warm hug. 


 

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Stevie GB

Award-winning comedian, actor and playwright.

Stevie GB is an award-winning comedian, actor, and playwright. Known as the world's funniest accountant, Stevie has performed at Westbury Music Fair opening for Dion, and at the Paramount in Huntington opening for comedy giants like Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson, Rob Schneider, Norm Macdonald and many more. He has written and performed three one-man shows, 12 One-Act plays and a full length musical that appeared Off-Broadway. He has also performed as Groucho Marx to critical acclaim in Newsday. Featured on Amazon Prime and on News 12.

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